Family Ties
by goldenspringtime
Summary: Xander always thought Tony Harris was his father he was wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I do not own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Summary: Xander always thought Tony Harris was his father he was wrong.

Spoilers for up to finale of Buffy and to the Seventh season finale of Supernatural.

Things had changed since Sunnydale fell, he had gone to Africa to recruit slayers and seeing the wars and the poverty had been hard. Having only been able to save those that were slayers and leave everyone else had been hell. After he had come back to Cleveland he announced that he wasn't going to be a watcher, because he was sick of just watching. That had been 9 years ago, he still kept in contact with the girls who over time stopping trying to get him to give hunting by himself. He was occasionally joined by slayers, witches, and vampires or werewolves.. Especially if he was within 500 miles of Cleveland.

Some other things that had changed were his appearance, he had a lot more scars on his body and he supported a black leather jacket. Before he wouldn't have worn it just because Angel did, but leather protected his body and had saved his life more then once and, he wasn't that petty anymore. He also got his eye back when Willow found a spell that would do it with minimal complications.

He had been hunting for the last 8 years and was pretty good at it if he said so himself. Even good hunters couldn't always find a hunt, and that was why he hadn't been able to come up with any more excuses, so he was going to have to see his mom. She had been bugging him to come visit her for a few weeks, and Xander had never really wanted to see his mother, because aside from his early years she hadn't really ever been a great mother. What he really wanted to do was put her out of his head, which would be hard if he actually went to go see her.

His mom and Dad had moved before Sunnydale fell in and they had moved to Florida. Moving from one sunny place to another, also Florida was full of retired people, which with the money the government shelled out for those those who lost their homes and jobs in the cave in which is what the cover story was they were able to afford.

He was closing in on their city and winced, why was he putting himself through this? His mother had been a drunk since he was 8 years old, any time he asked her if she was coming to his athletic games, she would give some lame excuse and he eventually stopped doing extracurricular activities not to mention they stopped giving him money, when it cut into their alcohol consumption.

His father had died 3 years ago in a drunk driving accident, thankfully he hadn't killed anyone other then himself. Xander had given her his cell phone number then in a moment of pity he had for his mother who had just lost her husband. He had regretted it when she had started calling him everyday for past 3 weeks to come and see her, and he finally agreed to come and see her since he was between hunts.

He pulled off the freeway and started going towards her house. He had only been there once before, after the funeral for his dad which he had gone to, even though nearly half the time he wished he hadn't gone. Then he had taken his mother back home, when it became obvious that she had drunk something before the funeral. He pulled in front of said house parked and looked at it. From the front it looked nice, lawn freshly cut, probably cut by some poor boy for a few dollars or someone who bought the outwardly appearance his mother like to show everyone else. He hesitated awhile longer, contemplating just leaving but if he left he would just be called everyday again so he sighed and opened the door and closed it softly. He looked up the walk and starting going towards the door, which was difficult since his brain kept telling him to run away. He managed to find his way to the front door and ring the door bell ,it took a couple minutes before someone opened the door, in which Xander had a hard time stay in place but managed it. The door opened, but it wasn't his mother standing there, it was a nice looking blond girl in her early to mid 20's wearing scrubs the scrubs part is what worried him.

"Who are you? Where's my Mom." Xander asked the quickly one right after the other.

"Are you Xander?" she asked in a friendly tone and Xander tried to calm himself down.

"Yes, I'm Xander. Where's my Mom?"

"Come on in." Xander winced, he thought he told his mother not to do that or let anyone else do it either. He stepped inside and the blond girl in scrubs closed the door then turned to him.

"Hi Xander or would you prefer Mr. Harris?"

"Xander's fine. Where's my mother?" he tried to say calmly.

"She's right through here." she started moving to what if Xander remembered correctly was his mother's bedroom. He followed the blond girl into the room and then got a glance at his mom and he didn't know what say. His mother was in bed, but not only that, she also had tubes and wires connected to her. The scariest thing was the heart monitor. She had a oxygen mask on and her eyes were closed. He felt scared.

"Mom." he whispered.

"Mrs. Harris, your son is here to see you." her eyes fluttered open and found his. She slowly took her oxygen mask off

"Xander?" she asked.

"Mom? What's going on?" she looked sad and regretful.

"I'm sorry Xander." Xander heart plummeted, his mom used to apologize a lot when she had gotten drunk when he was young, but she hadn't apologized for anything since he was 16." I'm sorry for not being there for you as a child and young adult. I'm sorry I wasn't there for your graduation.

"I told you mom, that is wasn't safe to go to my graduation."

"I thought you always told me that, because you didn't want me and your father there to embarrass you."

"No, Mom there was a real danger and I was trying to protect you and Dad from it."

"Anyways whether or not that true, I still have other things that I'm sorry about. Like the fact you had to go on your road trip with your Uncle Rory's car, the fact that we always said that weren't smart enough to get into college. I'm sorry that I didn't get to see you become this man, you've become because I can tell your a good man and we did nothing to help you become that way..." there was long pause" I'm sick." he had known ever since she had started talking about being sorry, the fact that her bed was full of tubes and wires had confirmed it. But hearing her actually say it he crumpled into a chair that was closest to him. He did his best to remain stoic.

"How long do you have?"

"Not much longer a few weeks to months." he closed his eyes briefly so little time and opened them again and focused back on her.

"Why didn't you tell me on the phone I would have come sooner." his voice breaking.

"Because I wanted to give time to come on your own, I would have told you next Monday if you hadn't come already."

"You can't be dying." he felt like a little boy at the moment.

"I can and I am." he took her hand and held it.

"Why?"

"I have cancer, liver cancer." from all the drinking she had done her whole life.

"There's nothing they can do."

"I don't have the money and even if I did it's too late, they caught it too late." she was dying she was really really dying.

"I'll stay with you until ...until the time comes." he said unable to say until you die.

"Xander that's not everything, there's one more thing I've kept a secret from you your whole life. Tony wasn't your father at least not biologically. He didn't realized that he slipped his hand out of his mother's.

"Are you serious?" that would be a crappy joke.

"Yes."

"Tony wasn't my Dad?"

"No he wasn't." he wasn't sure what to think about that all his fears of turning into his father because his genes were unfounded. Not that he knew that his actual biological father was any better.

"Who was my father then?"

"Your biological father was a man named John Winchester." John Winchester that name sounded familiar, but before he could get too far into that thought she continued. "We were high school sweet hearts." she smiled wistfully "We had these plans, John was going to be a marine and I was going to go to college and we'd wait for each other, and when John came back we we're going to get married. One the night before he left for the marines we...conceived you. I could have written him a letter and told him about you and he would have come back if he could, he was a good man. But I didn't want him to feel regret every time he looked at me or you, so I never told him as soon I found out I was pregnant I found someone with a job and married him in the next two weeks, before I started showing. Tony always thought he was your father."

"So he never knew? You sure that he didn't know?" it was be easier if he had known the way he treated Xander would have much more explainable.

"I'm sure." she said weakly.

"I think that's enough for today, " Xander jumped he had forgotten that the nurse was even there. "She very weak she needs her rest." Xander got up from the chair and looked down at his poor frail mother. Normally he would have taken time to digest this information before planning to see her again but she was dying he didn't have that luxury.

"I'll be back tomorrow Mom." he bent down and kissed her forehead. His mother's eyes were already starting to close so he followed the blond girl no nurse his mom hospice nurse to where the door was.

"Are you okay?" The nurse asked concerned she had been in the room for the whole conversation.

"Honestly I don' t know." Xander answered shaking his head. "When can I come back?."

"Anytime after 9 am tomorrow is fine."

"Alight I'll be here."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer; I do not own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Time line: Happens in the summer after the seventh season finale for Supernatural. And many years after the Buffy series finale.

Xander left the house and sat in his car starring at the steering wheel. His father wasn't Tony, but a man named John Winchester. John Winchester why did that sound so familiar? Then it came to him, John Winchester the legendary John Winchester, the man who had taken out so many non-hellmouth supernatural creatures, of course he also heard that he was dead. If that was his father and not some other John Winchester, it could also be that Sam and Dean Winchester legends too in their own right, although most of the hunting world looked down on them now ever since they had started the Apocalypse could be his half-brothers. Of course they had also ended it as well. He had heard various rumors about the Winchesters, and since he had never seen them before he wasn't sure which were true. He took out his phone before without realizing it and once it was out, he knew that he needed to talk someone, he needed to tell someone, he needed to get this off his chest. He dialed a number, and waited anxiously as it rang once, twice and a third time.

"Hello."she sounded happy. That would probably change once he told her what was going on.

"Hey Willow." he tried not to sound as freaked out as he was.

"Hey Xander, I miss you, when do you think you'll make it out to Cleveland?" she asked hopefully.

"I don't know but when I do I'll give you a call."

"So are you injured?" Willow asked. Why did she always ask that question first or second did he sound like he was injured?"

"Just some minor scrapes and bruises." The first time he had gone hunting he had thought he knew everything about the world, then he had met a non-hellmouth vampire and had tried to stake it of course it hadn't worked, and he had barely been able to get away from it with his life. That's when he realized that A. he didn't know how to fight, his previous method of hid behind Buffy until she kills it wasn't going to work if Buffy wasn't there. B. Apparently things off the hellmouth were different then things on it. C. If he was going to survive he would have to learn how to fight; which would require some time to learn. So all in all his little fight for independence was short lived, because he had gone back to slayer headquarters and after a while convinced Buffy and Faith to train him. It had been a long and hard process, but if he hadn't done it he probably wouldn't have been alive at the moment.

"But you're taking care of them right? Disinfecting and bandaging."

"Yeah of course."

"Good or else you would in a lot of trouble mister." he almost smiled Willow was so protective of him and he was just as protective of her.

"Yes I would."

"So what are you hunting now?" Willow had had a hard time at first accepting that Xander wanted to hunt, or even saying the word hunt but she had it down now.

"Nothing, I'm between hunts...my mom been pestering about coming to see her and since I didn't have a hunt, I run out of excuses and finally just went to go see her...

Willow I need to talk to you about something." Xander said nervously.

"What is it?" she sounded very concerned.

"I found out that my Dad was not who I always thought it was, but a man named John Winchester."

"That sounds familiar." Willow said pensively.

"Maybe, because your thinking about John Winchester the famous hunter. Father of two other famous and infamous hunters, Sam and Dean Winchester. Of course I don't know if I really his son or some other John Winchesters son."

"Wow... that's wow." Willow said shocked.

"Yeah tell me about it." Xander scoffed.

"So what do you think about that?"she asked concerned.

"I don't know... I just barely found out I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, add that to the fact that my mom's dying and.."

"Your mom's dying?" Willow interrupted concerned.

"I didn't mention that?" his head was in so many places at the moment, it wouldn't surprise him that he didn't.

"No you did not mention that. What's wrong with her?"

"Cancer, liver cancer." that what she got for drinking her whole life, after he thought that thought he felt guilty, maybe his mother hadn't been the greatest mother in the whole world but she had been his and now she was dying.

"Oh Xander I'm so sorry, is there anything I or we can do." her voice filled with sympathy.

"They say she's had at the most weeks left." Xander chocked out, he didn't want to say that, he didn't want to admit out loud not even to one of his best friends.

"I'm so sorry, how are you?"

"I'm still in the processing stage on both fronts, if she had told me this when she wasn't...I would have been so mad at her...but she's...and I can't."he was starting to choke up a bit so took a moment to compose himself.

"Just when I thought my life was finally mapped out for me this happens, the universes way of saying your still my butt monkey." he said with a small humorless laugh.

"Xander." her voice was filled with compassion. Suddenly he wished he was in the same room with Willow rather then just on the phone with her. He wanted a hug he wanted psychical comfort, but Cleveland Headquarters was days away and with his mom dying he couldn't leave town until...it happened.

"Willow...I don't know how to deal with this. My dad there wasn't any warning signs."

"Maybe you should talk to Buffy...I mean Joyce..she had cancer too." Willow said slowly.

"I don't want to bring that up, she was much closer to her mom that I am to mine."

"But maybe it would help you to talk to someone, who been through a similar experience."

"It's not the same, she was young barely in college when it happened, I'm a grown man."

"Still I think it might help...you can talk to Dawn as well."Xander disagreed even more with that comment.

"No that's even worse, Dawn was still in high school and she nearly brought Joyce back from the dead because she missed her so much...I can't...not about that."

"Well just think about it then, I don't know anything about that both my parents are still alive although we don' t really talk much." Her parents didn't like she did Wicca, dropped out of the college, and was gay, although she had finished college since Sunnydale, the other two were not things they really liked. Joyce had been the best parents of all of their,s that's why they had all missed her so much when she had died. Great now this was bringing up bad memories about Joyces death. Another reason he didn't want to call Buffy or Dawn.

"Xander... my class is starting in about a minute let me just call to cancel it." Xander shook his head.

"No Willow, it's okay, I'll be okay ,I just need some time to process."

"Xander it's fine I'll just call." this time she was insisting.

"Willow it's okay, I'll be fine."

"Xander I really think..."

"Bye Willow." he hung up and put the phone on his lap, a few seconds later his phone started to ring, he picked it up ,saw it was Willow and put back down on his lap. He didn't want to talk anymore, he looked at the house again and knew he couldn't come back til tomorrow , he knew what he wanted to do til then. He was going to find out whatever he could from where ever he could about the Winchesters.

Review please and tell me what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer; I do not own Supernatural or Buffy the vampire slayer

He had checked into a nice hotel, a perk he had for working with the Council was that he actually got paid to hunt. Where as most other hunters hustled in pool or poker and or ran credit card scams. Although he wasn't bad at pool or poker, he had had a lot of practice over the years he had done it a lot to learn what his tells were and how to hide them better and how to better spot liars.

He took out his laptop, he hadn't done well with computers in high school but he had learned how to work them now up to the point he could hack into a good amount of things. Willow had taught him how to do when he wasn't training.

He looked up Sam and Dean Winchester and found something interesting about Dean. Dean had faked his death apparently twice and was now apparently really dead. Sam had apparently faked his death once and was now apparently really dead. Dean had faked his deaths in 2006 and again in 2009 and had just died late last year. Sam had faked his death in 2009 and had also died last year as well. But he knew that didn't necessarily mean they were dead. He knew Dean had gone to hell and had been pulled out that had big news back then. As it had been when Sam had been pulled out of hell as well, he had heard several people talking that as well but as for their death last year he didn't know. The Winchesters and Bobby Singer had gone under the radar and he had no idea what had happened to them since.

Hunters were often wanted by the authorities, he didn't know anyone as wanted as the Winchesters though, especially looking at the video again of those murders. Of course he also knew the Winchesters had pissed off the Leviathans, so maybe the people in the video weren't Sam and Dean but Leviathans pretending to be them. Or maybe he just wanted to believe his possible siblings were innocent.

His phone started ringing again he looked at who was calling and saw it was Willow again, he ignored it.

This time he decided to hack into the FBI database although he wasn't really sure what that would tell him.

Sam and Dean Winchesters rap sheets were both long and very detailed.

That was a lot of crimes although most hunters tended to have rap sheet like that with possessions, and shape shifters, and other things that could make itself look like you it wasn't hard to get a rap sheet like theirs.

His phone rang again this time it was Buffy. Xander cursed under his breath ,Willow better not have told her to call him, but in case she hadn't Xander answered it anyways.

"Hello."

"Xander how's are you?" Awful, tired, thinking about my possibly murderous possible brothers.

"Awesome." he said instead managing to put some enthusiasm into it.

"Really?" she seemed surprised, so Willow did tell her to call him, he wondered if she had told her why?

"What I can't be awesome?" he said with false cheer.

"It's just...well..Willow told me to call you?" he knew it he rolled his eyes, Willow could never just give him time to go through things in his own time she always thought it was better to just talk and talk everything all away.

"Did she tell you why?"

"No, she just you sounded like you needed someone to talk to."she said a bit sheepishly.

"Well you tell Willow that I'm fine and I'm dealing with it." he winced, crap maybe she didn't catch it.

"Dealing with what?" she said confused and a little suspicious.

"Nothing it's fine." he insisted. Why were his two best friend always asking him to share and care all his emotions, that's right they were girls.

"Xander."she said warningly.

"Buffy it's fine I'm fine it's all fine."

"Alright but if you need to talk call me." she warned.

"Alright I will I'll talk to you later Buffy."

"Bye Xander."

"Say hi to your husband and kids for me will you?" Buffy was the first of them that had gotten married.

"Will do."

"Bye."

"Bye." he hung up and sighed.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Warnings: mentions of past child abuse.

He was parked and ready to go in at 8:55 and now he was just looking at the clock waiting for it to say 9:00, despite the fact that he knew a watched pot never boiled. Eventually, although it had seemed like forever the clock said 9:00, he got out of the car and locked it and made his way up the walk. He walked to the door and raised his fist. He wanted to talk to his mother, but at the same time he didn't, she had lied to him all his life about who his dad was. Not to mention some other things he had put behind a wall so thick, so he didn't have to think about it. Still she was dying, he knocked and waited until the door opened. The nurse from yesterday was standing was standing there and she opened her mouth. Although hellmouth creatures usually stayed close to the hellmouth, there was no rule that said they had to so he had to correct her asap.

"Don't say come in just open the door enough so I can come in." she looked at him like he was crazy.

"Okay." she said in a I'm-talking-to-a-crazy-person voice. She opened the door wide and held it. Xander walked in.

"Thanks." he said softly, he didn't wait for her and walked quickly to his mother's room. He sat down next to her.

"Hey mom." he said softly looking at her, she looked even skinner and frailer then yesterday. She opened her eyes and starred into his and Xander's eyes became moist he looked away for a second and collected himself.

"Xander...are you mad at me?" she looked so weak so pitiful, and he honestly didn't know how he was feeling so he just said.

"No mom I'm not."

"I'm so sorry, I know me and Tony marriage is part of what stopped you from marrying that girl."

"Anya." Xander said quietly his parents had never liked Anya, because well she was kind of brutally honest, as a ex-vengeance demon she wasn't very good at censoring herself. He was afraid of turning into them and that was a big part of the reason he hadn't married Anya. He hadn't been ready for marriage and he know that he never should have asked Anya if he hadn't been willing to go through with it, but he had thought at the time he would have.

"It's okay." it wasn't and it would never be, but she was dying and Xander felt like was a kid again consoling her after his father hit her.

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stop him from hurting you." Xander heart sunk, he had hoped that either she didn't know or she was too drunk to notice. The fact that she had known and hadn't done anything was so much worse.

"It's okay." he lied.

"No Xander it's not, and it shouldn't have taken me dying to say it to you...I was your mother..I should have protected you...I should have left tony...he wasn't always that way you know in the beginning he was sweet and kind." she smiled wistfully. "But everything changed when he lost his job when you were 5. He was unemployed for months and he started drinking heavily. At first he only hit me and I should have left but I couldn't."she started coughing again and the nurse came forwards but his mom waved her off.

"I'm fine just let me talk to my boy." she barked at Cindy.

"I started getting drunk to drown out the pain and then I couldn't' stop. I'm sorry that I missed your games and your plays because I was too drunk to go. I'm sorry that we're never around for you to ask us questions about life."

"It's okay mom." he lied gently he wondered what else she wanted to get off her chest since she ...going away she was finally cleaning house.

"Your real father he was a good man...I wonder what have happened if I had just told him the truth."

"Did you ever tell him the truth?"

"No, I did look him up when Tony started hitting me, but he was married baby on the way."

" He went to the marines right?" this time he had brought a pen and paper so he could take down everything she knew about him.

"Yes."

"What high school did you go to together?"

"Lawrence high I always wanted to get out of Lawrence and Tony wanted to live in California."

"Why'd you move to Sunnydale." of all the places in California they could have moved they had to move there, of course if they had moved anywhere else he wouldn't be living the life he was now he would probably be still in the dark.

"It was cheaper then the surrounding area's." of course it was cheaper who wanted to live in a town where the high school new paper had it's own obituaries. She started coughing again and this time it took a lot longer for her to stop. The nurse came in and checked her vitals and took a needle and put it in her iv.

"You need to go now." she said.

" Can't I just stay until she wakes up again. I promise I'll be quiet you won't even know I'm here."

"Alright but be quiet." Xander made his way out of the room and to the living room where he sat down. There was only one bedroom in the house, he found that out when he had drove his mother back here. It had kind of stung them getting a house which if he did want to visit he wouldn't have a room to stay in .Although he realized what was the point in paying for more then one bedroom if you only needed one bedroom.

He was wasting his moms time talking about his dad, he had a name he would go after him later, though in he was the hunter he was already dead. He needed to calm his mom, talk about good memories he had with her and let her get her feelings out about this thing, but he didn't want to at the same time he didn't want to have to deal with this not alone. Mind made up he found the back door and went into the backyard. There were no plants just grass and nicely done like the front yard as well, there were trees out here as well. He went the furthest he could away from the house aware of his promise to be quiet and took out his cell phone, and dialed.

"Hello?" Buffy groggy voice answer he look at the time it was 9:30 with a 2 hour time difference made it 7:30 on a Saturday oops.

"Sorry Buffy, I didn't realize how early it was, I'll call you back later."

"No..no..Xander it's okay...what's up?"she yawned and he felt badly.

"No it's okay I can talk to you later."

"We're talking now spill." she said in her you-better-do-what-I-say-or-else voice.

"Willow was right there was something I needed to talk to you about, but I thought I could handle it alone and I realized that I can't, that I need to talk to someone and that someone is you. Now before I say something if you at any point don't want to talk about it anymore it's fine, we don't have to talk about it at all.

"Xander what are you talking about?" she asked concerned and confused.

"My mom's dying, Cancer." Buffy gasped.

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah me too."

"She'll be...gone soon."

"What can I do to help?"

"I don't know how to deal with this, what should I be saying to her, what should I do with her? How do I make the best of the time we have left?"

"You know if I had known that my mom would have died when she did and I couldn't change it. I would have stayed with her all night long telling her how much I loved her and cared for her and would miss her. How everything she taught me I would carry through my life and teach to my own children. " he could hear the sound of her sniffling and felt bad again "I would tell her how much I appreciated everything she did for me every day of her life. I would apologize for stupid fights with her. I would thank her being there for me even when I didn't want her to be there." she started crying and Xander felt even worse.

"Look Buffy I'm sorry this was a bad idea."

"No! Xander it's not a bad idea because you should say these things! Your mother should know these things." she said sadly.

"She will." Xander said shortly.

"If need anything, I mean anything don't hesitate to call me at any time."Buffy said.

"I will, I'll talk to you soon, Bye Buffy."

"Bye Xander." he hung up half the thing Buffy had said were relevant to Joyce and not his Mom. So he had stirred up old emotions in Buffy and he didn't even know if he could used anything she said. He walked back into the house and went to the doorway of his mother's room and leaned against it and saw the nurse messing around with the machines, he looked at his mom. She had never been the mother he had always wanted her to be. There were few memories he could look back on and think that she was a good mother. He shook himself out of his head when the nurse started coming through the doorway so he moved out of the way. She took a few steps towards the living room and Xander asked.

"What your name?"

"Cindy."

'Your a hospice nurse aren't you." it was more of a statesmen then a question but she answer anyways.

"Yes I am."

"So you watch people die for a living." it may have sounded rude but he hadn't meant it that way.

"I help people in their greatest time of need so they aren't in pain and their comfortable.." she said snidely then turned back around.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way." she turned back around.

"It's just, I already lost my Dad and now I've got a new one possibly" if he wasn't dead which if he was the hunter John Winchester he was. "I know you've heard our drama." he said motioning to the room and to them. "It's okay it's not like we were being quiet about it."Do you know what I'm supposed to say to her. My friend she lost her mom." his eyes were tearing up again and he turned away again to gain composure before he continued. "She tried to give me advice on what to say but her mom she was a good mom, she was a great mom. Mine." his eyes ducked towards the room they were right outside of.

"She's asleep right?'" Cindy nodded.

"My mom wasn't great, it wasn't easy for her to have my dad do that to her...but I don't want her to die unhappy. So what do I say to her.?"

"I don't know." Cindy said unhelpfully. "Yes I watch people die for a living, but it part of the job you can't get too attached to your patients because you know eventually they are going to die and you'll have to start watching someone else. I haven't really ever lost anyone except my rabbit and even then it was sudden and my parents told me he went to go live at a farm, I didn't figure it out until I was a teenager." she said with a small laugh. "But my guess would be tell you love her...tell her you what you wished it could have been...and tell her you'll miss her if you would. "

"Thank you Cindy."

"She'll be asleep for a few more hours at least but if you want you can in there and practice."

"Thanks."he walked into the room and sat down and grabbed her hand.

Review please.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

He hadn't gotten out more then a word or two all night, trying to think of what to say and how to phrase it. When she finally opened her eyes again he still wasn't ready.

"Hey mom." he said softly he rubbed her forehead a little.

"Xander." she closed her eyes again. He wanted to keep her awake but Cindy said she needed her rest.

"Your so strong, I know you didn't get that from me or your father. I wished we could take back the years that have passed, just go back and redo it all over again...but we can't can we?" she coughed a little, covering her mouth.

"No we can't, if it means anything, I would like if we could redo it all again as well. Mom there 's something I need to tell you, no matter what happened in this family, no matter what you or Tony did I love you. I love you mom." his eyes were tearing up again this time he let them fall. "And I will miss you, not all the memories are bad ones. I remember the time I was 7, dad broke my truck against the wall and I was so upset. You took me to the park and you let me play all day long there, then you bought me ice cream. You held my hand as we crossed the street, you were sober and you smiled and it was the perfect day." he could see tears in her eyes as well and her smiling too

.

"Thank you Xander, that means everything." she said softly then her arm dropped a little and suddenly he heard the sounds of her flat lining.

"Mom?"

"Mom?!" he said louder.

"Cindy!" he yelled when he finally gathered his wits about him. She came into the room and took in whatever the monitors were saying and started working on his mom. She even had a shock cart and she charged up the paddles.

"Clear." she yelled and tried to shock his mom, it didn't work, she tried again and it didn't work, then she turned off the heart rate monitor. He starred down at his mother part of him wanted to rage at Cindy, but it wouldn't do any good, if she hadn't died today she probably would have died tomorrow and at least she wasn't suffering anymore. He ran his hand through her hair, she was gone, she was really gone. He collapsed into the chair beside her and just starred at her.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Xander starred down at his mother, she was gone. His Uncle Rory, and his Mom and Dad were the only relatives he had had. Dad was dead and Uncle Rory had died 8 years ago in LA during an apocalypse. And now his Mom was dead, he had no other family except that he did . John Winchester was his Dad while John Winchester was dead and Sam and Dean were possibly also dead If they were alive, he would find them, he had to find them.

A/N: So the end of this chapter is kind of misleading, it's going to take Xander a bit longer to find them.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

He didn't like funerals, didn't like that the word funeral had the word fun in it, because there was nothing fun about funerals. There were a lot of people that he didn't know, and from the looks some of them were giving him, he wondered what his parents had said about him, they must have said something bad because they were all starring at him like he was a criminal. Probably thought he was here just to collect his inheritance, what they didn't know was there wasn't any. His mother's medicals bills had been high and whatever was left was used to pay for the funeral. The only thing he got was to go through the house before they sold everything off at an estate sale, which would help pay for the funeral.

He wore mirrored sun glasses even though it was cloudy out. He didn't want to anyone to try to stare him down. He ignored the stares he felt on him through the eulogists service and tried not to contradict everything he was saying in his head. The casket was put into the ground and Xander starred at it, just days ago his mother had been alive and now she wasn't. Two hands gripped his and he felt grateful that they were here for this, and even more so that they had to traveled a long way to get there. People started leaving, there was no wake because he was the only one who would be putting one on and he couldn't stomach the thought.

"I'm sorry Xander." he looked to his left where Willow was standing in a nice black dress he squeezed her hand.

"I'm sorry too Xander." he looked over at Buffy who was wearing a similar ensemble and squeezed her hand too.

"I'm so glad you guys are here, I don't know what I do without you." he starred again at the hole where the casket was in.

"We're glad to be here for you Xander." Willow said and Buffy squeezed his hand.

"I hope...I hope she was happy...when..." he trailed off trying to not cry, he had done enough of that in the last few days.

"I'm sure she was, you were there with her." Buffy said softly.

"Yeah." Xander said softly.

"I still have to go through the house to see if I want anything...when do you guys have to go?"

"I have to get back by Sunday." Buffy said apologetically.

"I don't have to be back until next Thursday." Willow said brightly.

"Will...will you come with me to look at the house." he said nervously, he wasn't sure he could do it alone, which is why he hadn't done it yet. Willow and Buffy had both flown in last night.

"Of course Xander."Buffy said.

"Of course." Willow said. He couldn't stop starring at the hole which was starting to be buried. He knew he should have given her a hunters funeral but he couldn't, besides she had friends that's what the funeral was for, besides she didn't seem like the vengeful spirit type.

"You guys can go if you want, I'll just call a cab." he said.

"I'm good." Buffy said.

"I'm good too." Willow said. After a long pause Buffy added.

"Dawn wanted me to say again that's she's sorry she couldn't make it, she had a conference she couldn't reschedule."

"It's fine." he said, although he wished she was here too she would hug him and never stop until he told her to multiple times. They did talk for awhile, after that Xander wasn't sure what they were doing, but he knew he was starring at the grave and thinking about everything. Her last moments, her life, the happy moments he had had with her.

"Xander it's getting dark." Xander jumped, he had forgotten that Willow and Buffy were there they were right it was getting dark.

"You guys can go." then he remembered they drove together, he sighed it wasn't like starring at the grave all night would make his mother come back or fix the past he got up

"Okay I'm ready to go." He legs seemed foreign for a second, like they didn't belong to him, before he got them under control he found himself leaning against Buffy as they walked to the car, Buffy didn't complain, in fact she didn't say anything about it for that he was grateful. The short walk back to the car seemed to take a long time, he kept feeling like his mom didn't want him to leave her even though he knew she was dead. Willow walked behind him so even if he looked back he wouldn't necessary see her. Somehow they had made their way to the car and Xander slumped into the passengers seat of Buffy's rental car. He heard the doors to the drivers and back seat door close after a moment.

"Xander?" Xander didn't respond, instead he pressed his head into the glass of his car door. The car pulled away from the curb and Xander watched the scenery pass by. He absently heard Buffy and Willow trying to talk to him but he focused on the scenery. His mom was gone.. she was gone...he knew there was such a thing as hell Sam and Dean had both been pulled from it...Sam and Dean could be his half-brothers...Xander batted those thought away for now, he would find them later...right now he had to get his mind set right. He knew there also was a heaven, 2 years ago everything had been about the apocalypse and angels and demons. He wondered where his mom was headed, he hoped it was heaven.

The car stopped and Xander saw that they were back at his hotel. Buffy and Willow were staying in the hotel as well and most of the time one of them was always around him. He supposed they wanted to show their support which he liked the idea of, but constantly having them around and never getting a moment just by himself was starting to grate on him. He opened his door and made his way up to his room, his key card flashed red 3 times before he finally got it to open. He made his way on the thin green carpet sat down on his brown bedspread, head against the head board. He didn't close the door knowing that Buffy and Willow would be coming into the room right behind him and closed his eyes. He heard Buffy and Willow step into the room the door being closed and then the sounds of them getting settled at the little table since his bed was the only bed in the room. He didn't need to open his eyes to know that Buffy and Willow were both looking at him concerned, they had had that look for the past few days.

He had to get out of his head, all this thinking about his mom was driving him nuts. He picked up the remote and turned on the TV ,and started flipping through the channels. He could still feel Buffy and Willow's eyes on him. Without looking at them he asked them.

"Is there anything you guys want to watch?" they didn't say anything so Xander picked the show. No matter how much he tried to pay attention to it his mind kept wandering back to his mother. She was gone, Xander realized as another show started up again that he had absolutely no idea what the last show had been about.

"Xander what do you want to eat?" Xander blinked it took a minute for the question to process and he replied.

"I'm not hungry." Xander said absently.

"Xander, you can't do this you can't just shut down." Buffy said.

"I'm just tired." he said and realized he was maybe he should sleep.

"No your depressed." Buffy countered.

"I lost my mom how else am I supposed to feel?!" Xander snapped.

" Grieve however you want, but you've got to eat, you didn't eat yesterday and you haven't eaten today."

"I'm not hungry!" Xander shouted. Was it too much to ask for a few days to think about his mom?!

"Xander." Willow asked softly.

"I'm not hungry! Drop it!" Xander closed his eyes again he was tried, just really tired...


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A/N: sorry for the shortness of this chapter.

"I'm driving Buffy to the airport, do you want to come with or say your goodbyes here?" Xander jumped and looked around to what had caused to him to be knocked out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"I have to go back, remember?" Buffy looked at him concerned, he shook his head to clear it.

"Yeah,thanks for being there for me Buffy."

"No problem any time." he hugged her briefly and let her go.

"Say hi to the wife and kids for me." he said more as an automatic response then him trying to be witty, she turned to look at him.

"Xander I'm going to miss you, please if you need anything, call me anytime day or night."

"I will." they hugged again for longer this time and then Buffy and Willow started heading out the door, he waved bye to Buffy and sat back down at the small table. He tapped his fingers nervously on the table. He didn't like the silence, the silence made him think about his mother and about her last moments. He turned on the TV and put it on a show, it unfortunately didn't work very well and when Willow opened the door later he was still thinking about his mother.

"Hey Xander I brought back some Chinese food." Xander nodded he wasn't particularly hungry but Buffy and Willow had made it known in no uncertain terms that he was going to eat whether he felt like it or not. Xander got up from his bed and made his way to the table where Willow handed him a take out box. Xander sat down at the table and starred at the box for a moment then opened it and slowly started eating the contents. It didn't taste particularly good, then again not much had for the last week, but he ate it anyways.

He had to stop thinking about her every hour of every day, it was so tiring and it was making him crazy but every time he tried to think about anything else he's mind would always go back to her. There had to be something to get his mind off her...and there was.. His father's family, he had nearly forgotten about them in his grief but his father's family, they were a mystery and mystery required a lot of thinking and work to solve. A lot of time where he wouldn't be thinking about his mother's last moments.

"Willow, Can you help me find out if John Winchester was my father?"

Review please :)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Supernatural.

"So we got three death certificates for all three Winchesters." Willow said.

"But Sam and Dean both died before, and came back what's to say they didn't do it again, or it was a false death in the first place."

"If they are your brothers, they are certainly strange, and possibly dangerous I mean look at how long their rap sheets are especially Dean's." Willow motioned to the print out of their rap sheets ,which was somewhere in a large mess of papers on the small table. Among the papers were a copy of the picture in her mother year book of John Winchester compared to a picture from one of his arrests. Picture wise the connection was plausible, along with the fact that that John Winchester would have been 18 at the time of his conception, so the ages fit as well but the only way to know for sure was find Sam and or Dean and run a DNA test.

"You know that's how most hunter's rap sheets look, it's how mine would look if I didn't have connections to the Council."

"I don't like it what if they are as bad as their rap sheets say they are?" Not all hunters were sane , and not all hunters knew where the line was and some didn't care if they harmed humans who got in the way.

"Do you want to be a Winchester?"

"What?" Xander said startled, he hadn't really thought about it very much.

"Do you want to be a Winchester?" Willow repeated again.

"I don't know, being part of family of hunters is preferable to being from a family of drunks, but being part of a family of drunks is better then being part of family of serial killers, if the part where the Winchesters went off the rail and purposely stated the apocalypse is right. "

"You don't think anyone would purposely start an apocalypse would you? I mean humans." she corrected quickly.

"Humans can be just as bad as monsters and hunters if they don't stop on time they can go crazy, one of them I heard is in an asylum at the very moment, too many monsters."

"You see your making me all warm and tingly inside."

"You think slayers won't too? Before Buffy what's the oldest a slayer ever got? 30 maybe? Hunters die young too, but I know of hunters who live to retire." of them but none specifically. He was really lacking in information about other hunters, he had never really thought that due to his ties to the Council he was so out of touch with the rest of the hunting world.

"I need to find a hunter." Xander said absently.

"What?" Willow asked.

"I gotta to find someone who actually knows them, or knew them...wish the road house was still around.." at Willow questioning look Xander waved it off "Never mind."

There used to be a bar he used to go to get information and sometimes hunts, but the roadhouse was gone now. It's owner Ellen, her daughter Jo and Ash were all dead, he knew the Winchesters had something to do with that but he never got the whole story. He didn't have much in the way of hunting buddies since half of them were crazy, psycho's who would kill you rather then look at you and the other half he didn't know. But there was one guy he paired up with once. Not that he had exactly liked pairing up with him but he still had his number.

"I got to make a phone call." Xander said and stood up and made his way to other side of the room. He took out his phone and dialed the number and waited for him to answer.

"Hello."

"Hey Garth."

"Hey Xander."

"So do you know the Winchesters?"

"I went on a hunt with them a little while ago."

"So they're alive?"

"They were a few months ago."

"Good that's good, what do you know about the Winchesters?"

"A bit what do you want to know."

Please review :)


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A/N 1: Warning reunion ahead: the warning is that it may be not exactly how you pictured it.

It had taken a few days and some research on Garths part, but now Xander knew quite a bit about them, and now even had an idea of where to find them. Garth had told him about hunting cabins.

There were hunting cabins all over the place, where only other hunters would know to check, he had a feeling that Sam still hiding from the government, despite the fact that he was officially dead and also from the remaining Leviathans, which was definitely the more formidable enemy.

This was the third hunting cabin he was checking. He made sure that the various weapons he had on his person were well hidden, and made his way up to the door. He knew it wasn't terribly smart to knock on a hunters cabin door if there was anyone in there, but it would be a lot less smart to just try to walk in.

He raised his fist and knocked loudly a few times. He searched the windows which were covered in dark curtains trying to see if he could see any movement from the inside. He didn't, but he did hear some soft footstep coming closer to the door, then the door was opened, and Xander knew he found Sam, he looked different then his murder video. His appearance was haggard, he was pale, and he had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in days, which was probably the case if what he had heard about Sam and Dean relationship was true. Of course he noticed his appearance second the first thing he noticed was the gun being pointed at him by his possible brother no less.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Sam demanded practically shouting. It took a moment for his brain to process what the smell was that he smelt, it was alcohol and it was on Sam breath. So a gun and drunk, fun fun fun.

"I've been looking for you Sam." Sam didn't lower the gun.

"Why!"

"Because I think we might be brothers!" Xander been planing to talk to him and then bring it up, but the fact that a gun was pointed at him had changed everything. That only seemed to make Sam angrier.

"I already have a brother! I just need to get him back." Sam seemed so broken and if Sam wasn't holding a gun at him, he would feel sorry for him. He then looked suspiciously outside.

"Get inside." He wasn't really sure he wanted to talk to Sam anymore, and definitely wasn't sure he wanted to be alone in a cabin with Sam pointing a gun at him. Of course then Sam took the safety off the gun, which really meant he had no choice but to follow. Sam closed the door behind him and Xander eyes noticed an almost empty bottle of whiskey, so he was very drunk, awesome.

"Sam I heard about Dean dying and I'm sorry..."

"He's not dead! He's in purgatory and I'm going to get him out!" Sam said slurring his word a bit. Xander made sure his hands were as straight and open as they could be, he really didn't want Sam to shoot him accidentally.

"Of course you will." Xander said trying to placate him.

"He cut off the head and the body was supposed to flounder. It wasn't supposed to take him away." Sam drunk another shot of whiskey, the younger man was getting more drunk and he really had to get Sam to put the gun down before he shot him on accident.

"How am I supposed to find him!"

"I'll help you find him, but now you've got to put the gun down please." it was like Sam hadn't even heard him.

"He was there one second and then he was gone I though Cas had zapped them out but Crowley said..."

"Sam." this whole trying to be calm thing wasn't working, so he was going to try a different tactic and hope he didn't get shot.

"Sam!" he shouted drawing Sam's attention back on him. "Your holding a gun on me with the safety off and your drunk and it's making me really nervous, so you at least need to put the safety back on!" Sam looked like a kicked dog, he put the safety back on and dropped the gun to the hardwood floor, grabbed the whiskey and curled up into a chair facing away from him. The man seemed really lost without Dean. Xander looked at the door for a long moment, maybe it would be better to leave and come back when Sam was a little less drunk.

"You seem older not younger." Sam said softly and slurred. Xander kept starring at the door, but decided to reply.

"I am, your Dad conceived me right before he left for the Marines...he never knew about me."

"Well at least there's that...he had another son Adam he died when a ghoul eat him and his mom. Then he said yes and I pulled him into the cage with me." he had heard of the cage form Garth.

"Wonder how many more sibling I have out there." Sam said faintly he was very very drunk. Xander didn't know how to respond to that so he said nothing.

"You may be my brother..but your not...not.. Dean." he slurred, he seemed so broken. Then he promptly dropped the whiskey bottle onto the floor which didn't break, but it contents were emptied onto the floor. Sams head collapsed onto his knees and it was clear he had just drunken himself to sleep. He didn't expect this kind of reunion, he had been expecting yelling, not being believed, and wanting proof, but he had never expected this.

He wanted to get out of there, Sam was so drunk he probably wouldn't even remember him in the morning. He still didn't have any proof that they were in fact brothers. But instead he set about cleaning the room a little, he found the bathroom and found a towel and took it and cleaned up the remaining whiskey, he took empty bottle and put it in the trash and put all the dirty dishes into the sink.

He looked at Sam, Sam still had his shoes and jacket on. He sighed, he wasn't sure why he was getting out here, the man had nearly shot him. It was going to be uncomfortable sleeping like that, especially since he was still curled into a tight ball on a chair, too small for his large frame. Xander pulled off Sam shoes and looked at him he was too big for him to move to the bed without waking him up and he probably wasn't going to be waking up for awhile. He sat on the chair next to Sam looking him over, even in his sleep he still looked sad, that's when he decided to stay the night, besides the younger man could use some help once the hang over hit tomorrow because it was going to be a bad one.

Don't kill me and Review please :)

A/N: Does anyone want to volunteer to be my beta for this story?


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Thank you to my wonderful beta reader d767468

After having taken a tour of the cabin he found out it included three rooms. One

bathroom, one bedroom, one big room which included a mini kitchen, a fireplace, a ratty

couch and a small table with 3 chairs, along with the chair that Sam was asleep in. He

also found an impressive amount of weapons and whiskey. He wondered if Winchesters

liked things that started with W.

Right now he was sitting on the ratty couch staring at Sam. He was tired but he

didn't want to fall asleep, in case Sam woke up and tried to kill him before he could

explain to him who he was if Sam couldn't remember their conversation. He had heard

that Sam was level headed which he had definitely not seen last night. Of course it was

probably because Dean was M.I.A, in purgatory he corrected himself, if what Sam had

screamed at him last night was to be believed. He blinked, watching Sam sleep wasn't

exactly exhilarating. He reached his hand up to rub at his eyes which were starting to

feel like sandpaper, maybe he could close his eyes for a few moments.

Xander woke up sometime later to a loud groan and he winced, bad hangover just

like he had predicted. Sam still had his eyes closed and didn't seem to notice he had

spent the night in a chair yet. Sam's eyes opened slowly as he looked to the left. He

knew the exact second Sam saw him when he tried to get up. Which didn't work real

well since apparently due to the way he had slept in the chair, something was still

asleep. Sam was looking at him confused and leery.

"Who...who are you?" So Sam's memory from last night had some holes in it.

"What do you remember from last night?" Sam blinked several times and shook

his head, then clutched at it in pain. Xander decided to just come out and say it and

hope the reaction was better than it was last night.

"I'm possibly your brother." Sam glared at him and got up out of the chair kind of

jerkily. He reached for something at his side, probably the knife that had been there until

Xander had removed it while he was sleeping as a precaution. Xander tensed as Sam

started coming towards him, then saw him turn and sprint towards the direction of the

bathroom. Xander grimaced, very sucky hangover.

Sam had tried to threaten him again, so Xander nearly left then because the door

was wide open and it wasn't like Sam believed him anyway. Xander sighed, he must be

crazy. He went to the cabin's kitchen sink and filled up a cup with water, grabbed the

bottle of pills he had found during the night and headed towards the bathroom. As he

got closer, he grimaced as he heard Sam being sick. He went in and put the cup and pills

on the sink. Sam looked up and stared at him for a moment before continuing.

"Do you want anything else?" Xander asked. Sam glared at him.

"What make you think we're brothers?"

"My mom told me. She said she got pregnant before John went into the marines

and she never told him. But I saw her year book. There was a picture of John in there,

and it looks similar to the pictures I've found of him online. He would have been 18

when I was conceived so the ages fit." Sam wiped his mouth, having finished vomiting,

stood up and grimaced again. Xander took the pills from the sink and waved them in

Sam's face.

"Sure you don't want any pills?" Sam's eyes flickered to the bottle, then off it to a

segment of the floor. He seemed to be in deep thought so Xander decided to let Sam

figure out what he wanted to say and just stay quiet. It took him a few minutes but Sam

eventually looked up into his eyes.

"Even if we are brothers, what do you expect us to do? Just hug and become a

family?" Xander sighed.

"Sam I don't know what I expected. I just wanted to see you and let you know.

We're not children, we've lived our lives without each other."

"So what, you're just going to leave your brother in Purgatory?" Sam bitterly

accused him.

"You know Sam, you're kind of giving me mixed signals here."

"I need Dean." the younger man wasn't even drunk now, although he was hung

over.

"Sam, I need you to give me a straight answer. You can think about it, but I want

you to give me an answer as soon as you can. Do you want me here or not?" Sam

blinked and looked away again, then left the room. Xander let him go. If he needed time

to think he would let him think. He gave him about ten minutes, then got sick of being

in the bathroom, so he went into the other room.

"You have got to be kidding me." Xander said under his breath at the sight that

met his eyes. Sam was drinking again. Buffy always said that little sisters were pains in

the ass. Little brothers seemed to be that way as well. Xander made his way over to him

and held out his hand for the bottle. Sam ignored his hand and took another drink.

"Sam." Xander said. "You're hung over and you're drinking.

"Whether or not you are my brother, you can't tell me what to do!"

"Dean's in purgatory and you want to get him out. How do you plan on doing

that?" Xander found himself pushed against a wall. The look in Sam's eyes was one of

anger and desperation. Boy this guy was hurting without Dean.

"Don't talk about Dean, you don't know him." Xander tried to remain calm.

"No Sam, I don't. But I do know you're never going to find a way to get him out

by drinking yourself to death. I'm wrong that purgatory isn't where you would go?"

"No I'd probably go back to the cage with Lucifer and Adam." After a few

moments he added, "Adam is my younger brother."

"I know, you told me last night." Sam sat down and fiddled with the bottle in his

hand but didn't take another drink.

"I've looked for months and I haven't found anything."

"Maybe I can help."

"How?" Sam asked suspiciously.

"I have resources."

"What's your name?" he asked. Xander laughed, he had been talking with Sam all

last night and this morning and this was the first time Sam asked. Of course he wasn't

really at the top of his game with being drunk, then being hung over.

"Xander."

"Last name, Xander?"

"Harris." he seemed surprised.

"I've heard of you. You're a decent hunter." he looked suspicious again, "If you

are who you say you are?" Sam got up and rummaged through his bags and brought out

a flask and a knife. He hoped it wasn't whiskey Sam handed to him.

"It's holy water. Drink it." Xander took the flask from him, holy water always

tasted a little weirder than regular water but it had never made him smoke.

"I'd rather use mine if that's okay with you?" He took the silver knife he had

holstered to his leg and gave it to Sam to inspect and Sam gave it back after he looked at

it for a minute. Xander hated doing this, but it was necessary in order to gain trust. He

dragged it across his forearm and showed it to Sam. The blood was red and it wasn't

smoking.

"Now you," although he had already done most of the test while Sam was asleep.

Sam took his holy water and drank it and then sliced his forearm as well, showing him

the wound. Red blood, no smoke, not leviathans, demon or shapeshifter.

"So neither one of us is a monster," Sam said slowly, at least none of the monsters

which couldn't pass the test.

"You said you had resources. What kind of resources?"

"I'm associated with Cleveland Headquarters."

"Cleveland Headquarters?"

"It's a slayer house."

"Oh, for hellmouth types of demons. I remember my dad telling me if I was

within 250 miles of an active hellmouth the rules were different. He taught us the rules

about hellmouth monsters too. When I was 17 he told us that Sunnydale fell and the one

in Cleveland was guarded. So unless we happened to run into one that strayed outside

that radius we didn't need to worry about them too much. What kind of resources do

they have there?"

"Well Willow for one, she's crazy smart and she's also a powerful Wiccan." At

Sams' look of alarm he added quickly,

"A good witch, a very good witch."

A lot of hunters hunted bad witches. Some didn't even seem to think that there was any

difference between a good witch and a bad witch.

"Not to mention a large library full of books on demons, most of them for the

hellmouth variety, but I'm sure we can find something out."

"We?"

"Well yeah, like I said, we don't have to hang out or ever talk to each other again

if you don't want to, but if you do want my resources I'm going to have to come with

you to vouch for you, they won't let you in otherwise."

"What about angels, does it have stuff on angels?"

"I don't know. Probably, why?"

"Cas is with Dean." Xander nodded, remembering that tidbit of information now.

Sam and Dean had an angel friend who swallowed a bunch of creatures to get power,

then sent them back, all except for the Leviathans. A lot of people had died because of

the Leviathans and a lot of people had died because of the apocalypse. If he wanted to

get to know his brothers he probably had to overlook that. Sam looked around the cabin

and then to Xander.

"How soon can we get there?"

"We can leave right after I get some sleep. It will take us about 9 hours."

"Or we could leave now and you can sleep while I drive." Sam countered. Xander

sighed, yes it would be faster, but he was kind of leery of Sam. He had held a gun to him

and went for his knife all in the last 24 hours. He wasn't sure he could sleep in the car

with Sam being in the same car. Of course he seemed a bit more rational then he had

before, then Xander remembered Sam had been drinking. He was glad he could use that,

rather than tell him he wasn't sure he could trust him.

"You're drunk." Sam looked down at the bottle by him and sighed.

"I'm not drunk but I understand."

"So you sober up and I sleep and then we'll hit the road." Sam nodded looking

morose. Xander picked himself up and moved to the couch. Even though this wasn't

Sam's place it was a hunter's cabin, he didn't feel right taking the bed. He had only slept

a few hours before being woken up and now that the drama was at a lower level he felt

exhausted. He took off his jacket and his shoes and used his jacket as a blanket. For the

couch looking so ratty it felt extremely comfortable and he was asleep within minutes.

Please Review :)


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Supernatural. A/N: A big thank you to d767468for betaing for me and making this a lot better. CHAPTER 11

Xander pulled into a parking spot in the headquarters parking lot and looked over at the passengers seat. Sam was looking at the building. Sam had just woke up about a half an hour ago and they hadn't really talked much in all the time it had taken to travel from the hunters cabin. They had taken his car, because Sam's car had been stolen and Sam said that their usual car was in storage.

He looked at the building itself. He had been part of the team that had renovated the building to it's present day splendor. He got out of the car and watched Sam do the same. Xander locked it and headed towards the main entrance, subconsciously making sure footsteps were following him. He got to the door, nice mahogany wood, and considered for a second just walking in, but he hadn't lived there in a long time, it would be better to ring the doorbell. He pushed it and waited about 3 seconds before a girl came to the door. She was young, Xander had never saw her before.

"Who are you?"

"Tell Willow that Xander's here."

"Xander? Thee Xander?" she asked surprised.

"Uh sure." he said uncomfortably.

"Sure." she closed the door on Xanders' face, he blinked in surprise. He waited a few more minutes before the door opened again to reveal Willow on the other side and grinning ear to ear. Xander immediately hugged her tightly. Xander remembered Sam then.

"Willow this is Sam; Sam Willow." he said.

"Xander you know what the girls will do when they see you, they'll go crazy. The older girls will protect you but who will protect him?" Willow joked and Xander laughed until he saw Sam's look of concern.

"They're not violent." he clarified "Just over excited when any male walks through the door that doesn't normally live here."

"Especially if they're hot." Willow added.

"Don't worry she's gay."

"Hey!"

"Well you are!"

"Anyways." she opened the door and stepped aside. Xander stepped in first and went to the side, he waited a few moments for Sam to do the same. Willow closed the door behind her and Xander looked over the area. The building used to be a run-down hotel. This had been the lobby area. Now it was full of couches, bean bags and chairs, on the other side there was a large tv. He had lived there for a year and he had helped build it.

What was new were the girls, most of whom he had never seen before. Of course it made sense, most slayers went back home when they were done training. The girls he had trained would all be in their mid-20's about now. It always hit him when he came here that time didn't stop just because he wasn't there. Willow started moving, pulling him out of his thoughts as he made to follow her, and he made sure that Sam was following him. They were going toward the elevator, because unless you you wanted to stay in the lobby or use the stairs it was the only place you could go. Willow hit the up button and after a few moments of waiting the elevator opened and they filed in.

"So where are we going?" Willow asked him. He wanted to sleep, he had done the driving the whole way there, Sam had mostly slept. But he knew that Sam would want to get right down to researching so that's where they were going.

"The library."

"Right to work then?" she smiled and pushed the 2 button. The second floor used to be rooms, but they had gutted it and made it into two rooms. One a normal library and the other a separate library with all the books in there having to do with the supernatural.

Xander looked over at Sam, who looked anxious and was watching the elevator floor number. Xander knew that Sam wasn't sure if he was his brother, and at this moment probably couldn't care less. Xander had resources that could save Sam's brother. But that was okay, he was used to not being anyone's first choice.

It didn't take long before the elevator doors opened and Willow walked out with them. They walked into the library, the first section contained regular non-supernatural related books. It had shelves from floor to ceiling around the entire room, except for the front where the desk stood and a door that led into another room. There were also several freestanding bookcases and nearly every spot was covered in books. These books were mostly for studying for classes or pleasure reading. It was summer so it was not used all that much. Although the last time he had been here, he was interrupted by a boy and a girl making out in the library.

The supernatural books were located in a different section. In fact there was a thick soundproofed wall between the supernatural books and the others, so that if there was an apocalypse, those researching for it wouldn't be disturbed by the school kids. Willow was heading towards the door and he followed her into it. He looked around the room, it took up half the floor. This room, like the other side of the library, had books going all around the walls. There were also several bookcases of books too, and two big tables with several chairs around them.

"Alright so Xander you want your usual room and I can give Sam here his own." she took two keys cards out of her pocket, she gave one to Xander and one to Sam. Sam's key card also had a sticky note with Room #1546 on it. They both put their respective cards in their pockets.

"So you know breakfast is whatever you can find in the kitchen and wrestle away from someone else. Unless you want to go out for breakfast?" she said to Xander, who shrugged. He wasn't sure if Sam would be leaving this room anytime soon ,and he wasn't sure if he should stay with him or not.

"Okay, well let me know." she said then made her way out of the room closing the door behind her. Xander went to the section that had the most information about creatures not on the hellmouth. He brought a stack of them down and put it on one of the tables, he heard a chair being pulled out as he made his way to go grab another stack.

By the time he was done, he saw that Sam was already flipping through the first book. There were about a hundred books stacked on that were just the ones that had seemed the most likely to contain information about purgatory. He sat down and grabbed a book from the stack. He had just planned to set Sam up and then maybe talk to Willow or watch Sam, but he figured he might as well help research too. Although he doubted Sam would just trust him and would probably look through the book again even if he said he had checked it.

They had been checking books for hours, Sam had a few notes from various books and Xander had a few notes of his own, along with book names and page references so that Sam could look them back up easily if he wanted to. Xander needed a break.

"Sam do you want to get something to eat?" Xander knew the answer though, even before he asked it, the last few hours Sam had been researching like a mad man.

"No." Sam said shortly without even looking up from the book.

"Alright I'm going to go out for awhile. Don't try to take any of the books out of this room." Sam didn't say anything, he just flipped the page, so he hoped Sam had heard him. He got up and stretched his legs and arms a bit, then made his way out of the room, through the still very quiet library and to the elevator. He pushed the 18th floor button and waited for the doors to close.

All the permanents lived on the 18th floor, it had been where the suites were located when it was still a hotel. It's also where his room was when he had been planning to be a permanent before he went to Africa, before he had changed his mind. The room was still his, and although someone else had lived in it for a little while, they had moved out and now it was empty. Xander made his way to the room and opened it with his key. It was the closest thing he had to a home outside his 2003 silver Taurus. He had forgotten to grab his duffel bag from the car earlier but he'd get it later, probably with Sam's stuff as well, since he doubted Sam was going to stop until someone made him. If no one else did, he planned to do so himself a little later on.

He looked around the room. It looked exactly the same as it had before, only with a light layer of dust and a few cobwebs. He had made this room by himself ,with his own hands and he really liked the way it looked. There was even a small kitchen with a regular sized fridge in it, although no sounds were coming from it. They probably unplugged it to save on bills or something. In fact, everything in his room was unplugged. Normally everything was plugged in and ready, but he usually gave them a bit more notice than he had this time. He sat down on his bed and laid down staring at the ceiling for a few moments.

Sam was here and although he was completely obsessed with finding Dean, he was here and all he had to do was get Sam to give his DNA and then they would know for sure. They actually had a med lab here, so it would only be hours instead of the days or weeks it would take if they sent the DNA sample somewhere else. Xander got off the bed. Thinking about it was making him jittery. He had to do something else to occupy his mind so he plugged back in all the appliances he would need and looked around the room. He had to get out of there, and what's more he had to know. He made sure he had his card, left his room, went to the elevator and waited impatiently for it to come. The door opened and a smile split his face, inside was Lindsey.

"Uncle Xander!"

"Lindsey." he squatted down and held his arms out as the little 5 year old ran into them.

"You've been gone for forever Uncle Xander."

"Yeah sorry sweetie." she let him go and backed away from him and frowned.

"You got more marks on your face." how did she know? He thought his face looked the same.

"You know you're not suppose to ride the Elevator alone, where's your mom? he asked her. She didn't answer just grabbed his hand and started pulling him.

"Lindsey, maybe you could just tell me where she is?"

"Uh-uh." she said and kept leading him to wherever she was planning to lead him. Which was probably their room since it was only a few doors down from his. She opened the door, the permanent rooms (except for his) had no locks on them anymore and were replaced by normal door handles.

"Mom I found Uncle Xander!" Willow turned around and frowned.

"Lindsey where have you been?"

"Looking for Uncle Xander."

"You know you're not supposed to leave the room without telling me."

"But Mom." Lindsey whined.

"No buts Lindsey." Lindsey turned out her bottom lip in a deep pout.

"You told me Uncle Xander was here, but you wouldn't let me go see him." Lindsey didn't wait for Willow's answer though, she just dragged Xander down the hall to her room.

Lindsey introduced him to all her new toys and talked his ear off about castles, and princesses, and magic and it was nice for awhile to just talk to Lindsey. She had no idea about his mother, or his possible brothers, all she knew is that Willow had visited him a few weeks back. It was somewhat relaxing. Someone knocked on the door and Xander turned his head towards it to see Willow peaking her head in.

"How are you and Lindsey doing?" which was code for do you need to be rescued? Xander sighed, he knew what he needed to do, he had to get the DNA test done as soon as possible, so he would know as soon as possible, so he would stop wondering what if. Xander nodded his head slightly.

"Lindsey the grownups need to talk, why don't you talk to Mommy." Willow's daughter was conceived through magic, she and her life partner, a nice women named Rebecca, had decided they had wanted children and since they both were powerful witches, they were able to create a spell.

"Rebecca's here?" Willow nodded.

"Yeah she's in our room." Willow sat down across from him and looked at him concerned.

"How are you doing?" boy, was that a loaded question. How was he feeling about his mom or how was feeling about his possible brother who was off the deep end?

"Fine." he said unconvincingly and Willow starred at him knowingly.

"I have to know, if he is or if he isn't."

"How about your mom?"

"Honestly I have done my hardest not to think about her in the last few weeks. It's the only good thing about this whole Sam situation."

"Xander you can't just shut the pain out." she said concerned.

"Willow can we not do this right now, can't we just talk about what happens if Sam is my brother?"

"Sure, what happens if Sam is your brother?"

"I have no idea, I know he's obsessed with finding Dean. The books we have here are the only reason he agreed to come in the first place. So even if we are brothers, I don't see Sam being any less obsessed with Dean until he's saved him and probably the angel too, and even then, we're adults not kids." Xander trailed off.

"I have to know...I just have to know one way or the other, I have to."

"Okay then, let's find out."

"You'll...you'll go with me?" Willow smiled.

"Of course I will Xander."

"Thank you." Willow stood up.

"Just let me tell Rebecca where I'm going." Xander stood up too, boy age was starting to make him a little stiffer then it used to. He made his way into the hall where he was met by Willow.

"Ready?" he asked her, even if he wasn't sure he was ready himself. Willow nodded and they headed out of Willow's place and towards the elevator. It hit him then, how weird it must be to live in a place like this. At least it was consistent though, he moved to a new place every few weeks according to the hunts he found. He hit the elevator button and waited anxiously, it must have showed because Willow grabbed his hand. Xander turned to her and smiled at her to show his appreciation. The elevator dinged and the doors opened and Xander and Willow stepped into the elevator.

Xander hit the floor level for the library and watched the floor numbers read out anxiously until the door opened. He looked out over the extensive library and took a step outside the elevator and another towards the second library, when his nerves assaulted him again. What would happen if they were brother's? What would it mean? Would anything change? Would he want anything to change?

"Xander are you okay?" Xander snapped out of his thoughts grateful again that Willow decided to come with him.

"Yeah I'm fine." he said more as an automatic response then a purposeful lie. He may have gripped Willows hand a little bit tighter on the way to the second library but he would never admit it. In what seemed like forever and at the same time no time at all, he was in front of the oak door to the second library. Xander reached for the doorknob then thought better of walking into a room where Sam was without announcing himself first. So instead knocked on the door a few times, then opened the door and walked in. Sam didn't so much as glance up from the book he was reading. Now was the time he drew strength from Willow and managed to speak.

"Sam." Sam still didn't look up, he didn't appear to have even heard him.

"Sam." Xander said a bit louder and got the same results.

"Sam!" Xander shouted. Sam jumped and with one swift movement took his knife out and looked around the room wildly until he finally focused on the two of them. He put away the knife after a long moment.

"Sam will you come with me to the med lab?" Sam blinked a few times then looked down.

"Sam?" Xander asked. "It will only take a few minutes."

"Don't you want to know for sure?" he didn't look sure and looked around the room at the books.

"Even if you're not my brother you can still use the books." Sam looked pensive but before Xander could analyze anything more about Sam, Willow said

"Xander can I talk to you in the other room?"

"Sure." Willow lead him to the other side of the door and asked.

"If he's not your brother, do you still want him around?"

"You haven't seen him. He's a wreck without his brother and even if he isn't my brother he deserves to get his brother back. Not to mention Dean has saved a lot of people over the years and he doesn't deserve to be in purgatory."

"You're right, but if he isn't your brother, we're going to have to watch him closer." Xander nodded and opened the door again. Sam was looking in their direction this time as the door opened. Sam stared at him for several moments then nodded.

"Yeah we should probably find out for sure." he said quietly. Getting Sam to agree to the DNA test had been part of his worries, so having that part successfully completed should make him feel a little better. It didn't. Because now it was certain they were going to find out whether or not they were brothers and soon.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer

A/N: Many thanks to my lovely Beta d767468

The elevator ride to the med lab was absolutely silent, no one made a single sound. The only noise that was heard was the dinging sound the elevator made at every floor. Everyones eyes were glued to the numbers showing which floor they were passing. Xander fed on Willows strength the whole way up, he was so glad she was there.

The door opened after what seemed like hours and they filed somberly out of the elevator into the med lab which took up an entire floor of the building. It was primarily used to patch up slayers if they got hurt patrolling. But there was a section devoted to medical research. Currently there was someone carrying out testing to see how slayer genetics worked.

Abbey was the name of the scientist who came forward to meet them. She was wearing a purple shirt with black dress pants and a white lab coat. She was probably in her 30's and had shoulder length black hair. She smiled at them and shook Sams, then Xanders hand. Her eyes lingered over Sam for a moment longer than the other two, but that was probably because she had never seen him before.

"Don't worry it's a non-invasive process." she said to Sam. Xander already knew the process because his DNA was already on file for security reasons. He was just here to make sure Sam actually went through with his DNA test. Abbey led Sam over to one of the beds and gestured to him to sit down, which he did all the while looking uncomfortable. Abbey fiddled around with something then held up a cotton swab, with a container at the bottom.

"All that's going to happen is I'm going have you swab the inside of your cheek." she handed him the cotton swab and watched as he did as she had instructed..After he handed the swab back to her, she moved the container from the bottom to the top enclosing the swab and smiled.

"That's it, the result should be back in several hours." Xander took in a deep breath, he knew it wouldn't be instant, but it just seemed like forever. Sam nodded and stood up from the bed.

"I guess you can go back to researching until the results come in." Xander said. Sam nodded again and started heading for the elevator, Xander and Willow following a few feet behind him.  
The ride back to the library was just as quiet as the ride from the library had been. Xander was going to go with Sam, when he realized that until they knew results it would just be as awkward as it was at that moment.  
"I'll find you when the results come in." he said instead and saw Sam nod and leave the elevator.

Xander turned to Willow.

"Please distract me." Willow smiled.

"Of course let's go back to my room, I'm sure Lindsey would love helping distract you again." Willow hit the button for their floor and they waited as the floors went by until the elevator door opened again, this time on the floor containing their living quarters. They made their way past Xanders room to Willow's.

Willow opened her door, the doorknob itself was spelled if he remembered right. Only Willow, Rebecca, or Lindsey could open the outside doorknob. He had barely walked 2 steps into the room when a little red haired bullet attacked his legs.

"Uncle Xander you're back!" Lindsey said, filled with excitement.  
"I'm back." Xander said matching her excitement. She then frowned.  
"You didn't say goodbye." Xander looked back and remembered she was right.

"You're right Lindsey, I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye."

"It's okay."she said instantly perky again. She grabbed onto his hand and started pulling him down the hallway. He saw Rebecca andshe smiled at him and Lindsey. Rebecca was a year younger then Willow, had brown hair and blue eyes, was pretty and best of all loved his Willow. He trusted her with his Willow.

"Hey Rebecca."

"Hi Xander."

"How are you?"

"Nervous, Willow's told you about it hasn't she?"

"Yeah, I would be nervous too in your situation." Lindsey started tugging on his hand insistently, Xander gave Rebecca an apologetic look and Rebecca smiled at him in a 'what can you do' kind of way. Lindsey pulled him into her room again and pushed him down into a sitting position. She gave him one of her dolls.

"Play." it was a command and Xander smiled. He didn't have any sisters, so he had never really played dolls until Willow and Buffy had kids. Lindsey was the closest thing he had to children of his own since he wasn't going to have children. He probably still physically could, but he couldn't fathom how he would be able to stand raising a family and hunting at the same time. He was close with Buffy's children as well, but he more often made it to Ohio than California and saw Lindsey more than Buffy's kids. They played with the dolls, then with stuffed animals, and had moved on to the Legos when there was a knock at the door. Willow opened it a moment later and stuck her head in.

"It's time for dinner you two." she said with a smile. Xander took his cell phone out and looked at it. Had it really been that long? He got up from the floor and stretched a bit, yep he was definitely getting old. He followed Willow and Lindsey to the kitchen. Where there was a very good smelling pizza waiting for them, along with Rebbeca.

"Pizza." Lindsey said with excitement.

"Well Uncle Xander's here we figured it was a special occasion." Willow said with a smile. He picked a piece of Hawaiian pizza up only to realize he was too nervous to eat at the moment. He put the pizza back down on his plate.

"You okay?" Willow asked after chewing a bite of her own piece of pizza.

"Just not hungry is all." Willow nodded.

"We'll save you some for when you're hungry again." Xander smiled, he was so lucky to have a friend as great as Willow, and Buffy and Dawn too, even if they were far away at the moment. Dawn and Buffy had called him several times after he had left Willow and had started searching for Sam.  
Lindsey for being so small, managed to pack away a lot of pizza in a not so neat way. Pizza sauce and cheese covered her little face. Xander smiled wider, she looked so cute. She smiled back at him and Xander took out his phone and took a picture of her. Willow laughed, but brought out a napkin which Lindsey dodged when Willow tried to wipe her face.

"Lindsey!" Willow admonished. Lindsey shook her head.

"Lindsey!" Willow said louder. Lindsey made a face, a very funny face and Xander had a hard time hiding his smile as Lindsey finally stayed still and let her Mom clean off her face. As soon she was done Lindsey started pulling him back to her room. This time Xander resisted, remembering he had to grab his and probably Sam's bags too from his car.

"I have to go grab my bags, I'll be back in a minute."

"Can I come with?" she pleaded.

"Ask your mom." Lindsey looked up to her mom and asked.

"Mom can I help Uncle Xander with his bags?"

"Where's your car?"

"In the parking lot." the unspelled parking lot.

"Maybe you should just wait till Uncle Xander get's back."

"I'm five years old." she said putting her hand up as a visual aid. "I'm not a baby."

"I know honey but I think it's better if you stay up here." Rebecca said. Willow and Rebecca were both very protective of Lindsey.

"I'm not a baby." knowing even at five what her mom's resolve face looked like she knew she wasn't going to get anywhere.

"Fine." she said as she stomped off to her room.

"I'll be back soon." he called to her, Lindsey didn't give any indication that she had heard him.

"I'll be back soon." he said to Willow and Rebecca this time, they nodded. Xander left the room and made his way down to his car where his grabbed both his and Sam's stuff and made his way back to his room.

He put his duffel bag by his bed and Sam's on the other side of the room. He yawned as he shut the door again, on the way to Willow's room. He hadn't slept since last night and he was really starting to feel it. Lindsey would hopefully get him energized again. He tried to stifle another yawn as he knocked on the door to Willow's place. Lindsey opened the door and let him in.

"What are we going to play now Uncle Xander?"

"Play." that sounded ominous, like it was going to take a lot of energy.  
"Um let's just play a quiet game." she stick her bottom lip out.

"But those are no fun." he thought it was funny, but had trouble finding enough energy to let out more then a snort. Suddenly the couch in front of him started looking very comfortable.

"I just need to sit down for a moment." he said as he sat down. The couch was even more comfortable than it had looked like to begin with. His eyes kept falling closed and he kept prying them open as each time it was taking more energy. He couldn't sleep, he had to stay awake so he knew when the results would come in. Yet somehow that thought only seemed to make his eyelids even heavier.  
"Xander? Xander?" Lindsey was pulling on his hand.

"Uncle Xander just needs to close his eyes for a moment."

"But Uncle Xander!" she whined.

"Just a minute..just a minute." he muttered, probably incomprehensibly as his surroundings faded into black.

Xander opened his eyes slowly and looked around, his brain foggy. The surroundings were unfamiliar, though that was normal since he moved around so often. It took his brain a few moments to recognize that he was at Willow's place. He was still tired and was about to close his eyes to go back to sleep when he looked up and met Willow's eyes.

"Willow?" he said sleepily.

"Yeah Xander it's me." his eyes closed briefly again before they opened and he looked sleepily at her.

"You took a nap, it's 10 pm." He was wide awake. Why did Willow let him fall asleep? What if Abbey had called? He fumbled around in his pockets looking for his cell phone and took it out. It had no missed messages, he relaxed minutely.

"You okay?"Willow said sitting across from him.

"Yeah." Xander said. He didn't really want to elaborate at the moment, it seems like the worry which had mercifully been gone while he was asleep was back and worse then ever. But the only thing that would change his worry was the answer.

"It's 10pm?" he asked.

"Yeah." Willow replied.

"Is Lindsey asleep?"

"She tried to wake you even though I told her not to, but you were sleeping like the dead."

"Please don't use phrases like that." he said. She laughed a little.

"Sorry." she said. "Are you sure you're okay?" His cell phone rung, saved by the bell he thought and he answered it as soon as he got it out of his pocket.

"Hello."

"Hey Xander this is Abbey, the test results are in." He wanted to know right then but he and Sam should probably find out together.

"I'll be there in a minute." he said.

"Bye." Abbey said.

"Bye." Xander echoed faintly. He put the phone down on his lap and stared at it for a long moment.

"Xander are you okay?" Willow asked.

"The results are back in." Xander said faintly.

"Did she tell you?" Willow asked concerned. Xander shook his head.

"I told her I would get Sam and meet her in the lab."

"Do you even know if he's awake?"

"He's obsessed with finding Dean, I'm 90% sure he's awake, and that he won't go to sleep until someone makes him or he falls asleep in a book."

"Well then shouldn't you go get him?" Willow said after a moment. Xander nodded. He knew he should but couldn't seem to find the strength in his legs to get to his feet.

"Xander you've been searching for the Winchesters for awhile now and now you've got one here, admittedly it's not the best situation but family usually is full of problems anyways. You know that you need to know, just so you know for sure, so stop worrying about it and go find out whether or not there's really anything to worry about."

"Willow what the hell would I do without you?" he said warmly, Willow smiled in return, and then launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around him giving him a long hug. Xander tried to absorb her strength and they eventually pulled apart.

"Do you want me to go with you?" the answer was yes, but at the same time no. Whatever the answer was, it would change everything, if he was Sam's brother then he had to focus on getting Dean out of Purgatory. If they weren't related then Xander had to focus on finding his family, and he needed to figure out the truth without Willow. He shook his head slowly.

"Alright then, if you need me call or just come here any time."

"Thanks Willow you're the greatest."

"So are you Xander." Willow replied with a smile. Xander got off the couch, went to the door, opened it, walked out and closed it behind him. He reached for his phone to call Sam, only to realize he didn't actually have Sam's number and that despite it seeming a lot longer, he had only really known Sam for a few days. Xander sighed and made his way to the elevator.

He found himself standing in front of the library door Sam was behind in what seemed like no time at all. He knocked on the door twice before opening it, not wanting to surprise Sam. Sam was looking at him, his eyes were red, Xander bet his eyes were as well, at least Sam slept most of the way there though. He had had an unintentional 3 hour nap and he was way past due for a real sleep. However the anxiety of what was facing them kept him very awake at the moment.

"The results are in." Sam nodded but Xander couldn't read the expression on his face. Sam got up from the table and started towards the elevator, Xander following a few steps behind him. Boy was Sam tall and he had a long stride. They went into the elevator and Xander hit the button. Xander couldn't help but keep glancing at Sam who didn't look nervous at all. The doors opened and they stepped out of the elevator and into the lab where Abbey was waiting for them with a sheet of paper in her hands.

"So like I told Xander I have the result of the DNA test, and there's a 92% chance that the two of you share the same father." she handed the sheet to Xander, he had no idea what it meant, except it probably proved that they were brothers. Sam took the sheet from his hands and scanned it, apparently knowing more about what was on the sheet than he did.

"Okay, we're brothers, so now you have to help me save Dean." Xander laughed, whatever he had been expecting that hadn't been it.

"Sam, I will help you save Dean, I already told you that. Don't you have anything to say about us being brothers at all?" he could tell Sam wasn't paying attention, his gaze was focused far away from the room they were standing in. Maybe after the younger man got some sleep things would be better.

"Alright Sam, you need to go to bed."

"I've only read through a few books. "

"No matter how many books you read through you need to sleep because you have not been doing a lot of that."

"I'm not a kid you can't tell me when to go to bed!"

"And if you weren't acting like a kid who needed someone to tell him to go to bed I wouldn't, but if you don't get enough sleep what happens if you miss something, some subtext while you're reading? Do you want that to happen?" Sam seemed indignant then seemed to think about it for a second. His look changed and Xander knew then Sam had realized the truth in Xander's words even though he didn't want to lose time researching.

"I just want to save him."

"I know Sam, I know you want to save him, but you have to take care of yourself so that you can save him. You got your card key." Sam nodded tiredly.

"I forgot my bags in the car."

"That's okay I brought them in, I'll bring your bag to you in the morning, just go to bed." Sam nodded then turned around and made his way out the door.

"Are you okay Xander?" Abbey asked. He had absolutely no idea whether he was okay or not.

"Do you need to call Willow?" she added a bit awkwardly. Xander smiled a fake smile.

"I'm fine." he lied. "I'm just going to head up to my room and sleep." Abbey nodded awkwardly and Xander nodded back at her and made his way to the elevator. How many times had he found himself on this thing already today, it seemed like a million? He made his way off the elevator and into his own room. He took off his coat and shoes and collapsed onto his bed staring at the ceiling.

So he finally had the truth. His father was John Winchester, his half brothers were Sam and Dean Winchester. Sam the only living family member he had, was completely obsessed with saving Dean, who was apparently in Purgatory at the moment. Both his brothers had been to hell and... and honestly it was all just a little too much for him to deal with at the moment. It had been a long day, a long couple of weeks and right now he wanted to think about anything but his life. Xander struggled to remember where he had put the remote and turned on the TV in his room. There wasn't much on, but he focused on the nothing really well and soon the exhaustion he had been able to ignore for most of the day overtook him.

Please Review :)


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A/N: A big thanks to my wonderful beta d767468

Xander opened his eyes blearily and actually managed to recognize the room he found himself in. There was only one place he recognized that readily, his room at Headquarters. That thought sent the memory of the past few days echoing through his head. He groaned, sleep had been so nice, a long period of time in which he hadn't had to think about what any of it meant.

He had two brothers, two half brothers, and another dead father. Oh yeah and another dead half brother, he had forgotten about Adam. His brothers were Sam and Dean Winchester. Couldn't he have found less complicated siblings? He pulled himself into a sitting position resting against his headboard. He looked at the red numbers on the alarm clock, it was 7 o'clock in the morning.

They were brother's. What did that even mean? He had never had any siblings, although he always considered Willow and Jesse to be like his siblings, but they hadn't spent time together 24/7. Of course now that they were adults, what did being siblings mean for adults? Especially ones that hadn't grown up together?

Not to mention the fact that they all hunted. Would that give them a common bonding ground or would it create more friction? Then there was the fact that Sam was completely and utterly obsessed with finding Dean. It was all a little too much for him think about. He thought knowing would making it easier. It didn't. Only time would tell him the answer to all his questions, that, and actually talking to Sam. He caught sight of Sam's bag and grimaced, it seemed like such a good idea yesterday but now it seemed like something he really didn't want to do. He got up from the bed and stretched a bit keeping his muscles looser.

He blinked a few times then decided to procrastinate a little longer over the conversation he needed to have with Sam by having a shower first. He stripped off all his clothes and got into the shower. Man he loved his shower, it had the exact amount of pressure he wanted. The shower experience as a whole was pretty much only a 15 minute distraction, and then he was fresh and cleanly

dressed, right back where he had been before he started.

Xander figured that Sam would be up and about now and if he wasn't then he could just give Sam his duffel and they wouldn't have to talk until later. He went to the elevator, slowly walked in and hit the 15th floor button. He actually wanted the elevator ride to last longer. and he was pretty sure that the elevator ran faster than usual just to spite him. The elevator doors opened and Xander walked onto the floor. It had been several years since he had been on the 15th floor which was for visitors. He walked purposefully slow until he came to the right room number and knocked.

Sam opened the door slowly and saw Xander there.

"Got your bag for you." he said lifting the bag up a little.

"Thanks..hey...do you want to come in?" Xander wasn't going to lecture him on the come in part, mostly because the entrance is where the vampires would be weeded out and these were temporary rooms anyways and as such had no protections.

"Um..sure." he stepped into the room. It was very much still like a hotel room complete with bed, table with chairs, tv, dressers and sink outside the bathroom.

"Do you want to sit down?" Sam asked gesturing to one the chairs at the table. Xander sat down and saw Sam sit down on the bed facing him.

"I've been thinking about it this morning...been thinking about the fact that we're brothers and I'm sorry that I didn't say anything yesterday...it's just...I don't do well without Dean. I found that out the last time when Dean went to Hell after he sold his soul to save me after I had died. I made a lot of bad choices then, and I don't want to make bad choices now, so I've just been trying to get Dean back because I need him and I can't leave him in Purgatory."

"Yeah I know kinda of sort of know what you might mean. One my best friends died saving the world and we were afraid that she was in hell. We hated to think that after all the good she had done she was there suffering. So my other best friend said that we would save her and take her away from it. We

were wrong of course, we pulled her out of heaven. We were just so sure she was in Hell, but I think it's because we missed her so much and wanted her back. We were just best friends though, not brothers."

"I need Dean back and I know he's in Purgatory because Crowley practically

told me."

"Crowley isn't he King of Hell right now?"

"Yeah we kind of have a long history with him." Xander noticed he kept on

saying words like we and us, he wasn't used to using the singular term.

"He's also the bastard that didn't tell us that using the weapon we used to kill Dick had the nasty side effect of blowing anyone standing too close into Purgatory as well." Sam said with a voice full of loathing.

"I was going make another weapon until I realized that Cas was the only fallen angel I knew since Gabriel and Balthazar are both dead." Xander felt totally out of the loop. He knew angels had something to do with the apocalypse Sam had started but he had never actually met one. Sam seemed to have met a lot of them. "Not to mention Crowley probably wouldn't give us his blood again. So I

was back to square one, only with Bobby and his house blown up and Bobby really dead this time around. I only had the books that Bobby had in storage."

"Yeah I heard about that, I'm sorry, I know you guys were close. I worked with him once a few years ago."

"Yeah it's seems to be something that happens to people who get close to us. You should probably stay away for your own safety." Sam said bitterly.

"Oh I'm a demon magnet myself, all the demons seem to find me very attractive." Xander said with a smile, like he was boasting.

"Well that proves that all Winchesters are cursed. Adam died when he was 19 just for being a Winchester. We didn't know about him until after a ghoul already ate him and pretended to be him to try to kill us because our Dad killed a family member." Sam bit his lip.

"Anyways, I'm sorry."

"It's no big deal. When I first figured out I was possibly your brother I kind of freaked out a little too, but I got to do it in private." At least for a little while until his mom had died and Buffy and Willow had come. He shook his head, he didn't want to think about his mother right now.

"I just...I need my brother back."

"Then let's go find something to get him back."

"You're going to help?"

"He's my brother too." Sam smiled. For the first time since Xander had met Sam, it wasn't a sad smile. Sam looked different like that, younger and less burdened, as he realized he wasn't alone, and Xander was glad to see it.

Review Please :)


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A/N: Sorry that it's kind of short.

A/N 2: Thank you to my wonderful b**eta **d767468

He and Sam after their conversation in Sam's room, had gone down to the library almost immediately afterward. It had been really awkward at first but then he had just gone into research mode, and blocked everything else out but the book in front of him at the moment. They spent hours like that before Xander's stomach reminded him that he had skipped breakfast loudly. Sam didn't seem to notice. Xander closed his book.

"I'm going to get some lunch. You want something to eat?"

"Not hungry." he looked up after a long moment and added. "Thanks though."Xander decided not to push it this time, he would push him if he didn't give into dinner. He made his way back up the 18th floor hoping the offer to eat the cold pizza from last night was still on the table. He knocked on the door and Willow answered it.

"Xander are you okay?" she asked concerned. She ushered him into the kitchen and had him sit down at the table and sat down herself across from him.

"I came to see if the offer for the pizza is still open." Willow smiled and got up from the table, went to the fridge, got a plate with a few pieces of pizza on it which she sat down in front of Xander.

"Yeah Lindsey wanted to eat it but I saved it for you." Xander purposefully ate the pizza slowly knowing that once he was done eating the onslaught of questions would come. But soon he was out of pizza and the time had come to talk.

.

"Xander." she didn't have to say anything, her tone said everything. She wanted to know what the answer was.

"We're brothers." he said with a strange slightly hysterical laugh.

"How are you doing with that?" she said in very Willow way.

"I honestly don't know. I have a brother, two brothers. I have a brother in Purgatory I've never seen except for his murder video made by his Leviathan double. I have another one who is very determined to find his brother. We talked this morning though, and he seemed to make an effort. I volunteered myself to help with the search and …I don't know anything other than that." he said.

"You've had a very eventful night, week, month." Xander closed his eyes, he did not want to think about the beginning of all of this, his mother's death. It had only been a little over a month since her death.

"I know you don't like talking or even thinking about it, I mean that's why you jumped on this whole find my brother's thing but since you found them-"

"Willow don't." Xander said tiredly.

"I'm not trying to hurt you Xander, it's just you can't hide from it forever."

"I know that!" he shouted, then winced.

"Sorry." he mumbled. "Can we not talk about my mom?" he asked. Willow sighed but nodded.

"For now." she said. "But this isn't over mister." she said using her resolve face.

"Yeah I know." he said quietly. The door opened and Lindsey and Rebecca came in. Lindsey saw him and shouted.

"Uncle Xander!" he smiled as she rushed towards him, no animation lost from yesterday. How had everything that had happened yesterday have only taken one day? It seemed like it should have taken much longer.

"You're back and awake." she said excitedly.

"I can't stay long Lindsey." he said apologetically, he had to get back to researching.

"Aw!" she said crestfallen.

"I'll be back." he said.

"Promise." she asked.

"Promise." he said smiling back at her.

"Okay."she said slightly happier.

"I just have to ask your mom something then I'm going to go."

"Okay." he turned to face Willow and he lowered his voice and asked.

"Willow in case we don't find anything-"

"I've already started looking into it." she interrupted.

"Thanks Willow you're the best." he smiled and made his way back to the library, where if Sam had moved a single inch since he had left he couldn't tell. Xander sat back down in the chair he had vacated and got back to work.

Please review :)


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Many thanks to my wonderful beta d767468

For the next few weeks things went about the same. Xander would wake up and eat breakfast with Willow, Rebecca or Lindsey or sometimes a combination of the three. He then would meet Sam in the library where he would wrestle away the book Sam was reading and tell him to take a shower and eat something. At first Sam refused but Xander just kept bugging him until eventually Sam realized it was just easier to do what he said the first time.

Xander would research while he was gone and wait until Sam got back which was never very long. Sam would sit down and get back to researching. They would work like that until about 4 or 5. Which was when Xander would make Sam leave with him to get something to eat. Sam just went along with it now when before he used to fight it. Then they would continue researching into the evening until Xander made Sam go to bed.

They were at the dinner portion of their day. They were sitting down in Xander's quarters, Sam barely eating a salad, apparently he was very into green leafy things. He was mostly just moving it around, but occasionally he took a bite. Xander on the other hand was eating some hot pockets, not the yummiest thing in the world but good enough. Sam kept looking up at Xander's pizza pocket. Xander knew he didn't want it though, he was just waiting till Xander was done so he could get back to researching without being bothered.

"So you've been hunting your whole life?" Xander asked. Sam looked up from his salad and then back to it.

"No...I took a few years off for college but the yellowed eyed demon killed my

girlfriend and I was brought back into the life." Xander nodded.

"I'm sorry." it seemed so inadequate to say to something like that but it was the only thing he could think of. Sam merely nodded.

"What about Dean?" he asked. He knew Dean was kind of a sore subject for Sam but he wanted to know about the brother he was spending so much time and energy looking for a way to save. Sam looked at him in that broken way, he hated that look on Sam's face.

"He always hunted, he never seemed to resent it but I know he kind of did. Well except for that year I was dead." Xander smiled despite the fact that it wasn't and shouldn't be funny. That year I was dead? Just thrown out there like it was an everyday thing. Of course in their world it probably was. "But that was only cause I asked him to. My soulless self dragged him back into hunting." Now that really grabbed Xanders attention. Sam wasn't a vampire, he couldn't be, the wards had let him into his room, but how else could you be soulless.

"What?"

"I was brought back from hell without my soul." he said with no visible emotion. "For a year." he added after a moment. There was only one thing he could even think to say to that.

"You should talk to someone I know named Angel." Sam's brow creased in confusion.

"Why?" That was a very good question. He had spent a lot of time not liking

Angel but over the years while they hadn't really gotten closer, they had learned to

tolerate each other better. Although neither really talked to or about the other. Still the

whole shared soulless thing.

"He's a hellmouth vampire, they lose their souls when they're turned. He spent a long time without a soul. You two might have things to talk about. Sam's lip curled, telling him that he didn't think much of the idea. Which shouldn't surprise Xander, as Sam and Dean had been raised in this, probably taught from a very young age not to trust anything supernatural. There were probably very few exceptions to the rule and a once soulless vampire probably didn't make the cut. Xander let it go and they faded into silence again, a few minutes later they made their way back down to the library and

picked up where they left off.

The only thing over the next few days that changed was the intermittent comments that Sam would make.

"Dean was a jerk, he slept with everyone, and drove me crazy but he was also my mother, father and best friend growing up. Dad was always gone and Dean was always there for me and I always took for granted that he would be there whenever I wanted him to be."

"Dean's most important thing to him is his family."

"He loved his pie and his car, seriously if someone made pie and his impala into a women he would marry it and of course she would listen to classic rock."

"He always protected me,..I mean my dad ingrained it into him. The Rules were always we do what we do and we shut up about it and look after Sam. But Dean always, I mean always, looked after me. He sold his soul for me."the smile had vanished from his face and he hadn't talked for days after that one. When he spoke next he said.

"One time when we were kid's...it was Christmas and Dad wasn't back from a hunt yet and Dean stole presents from a house down the street, he had no idea they were girls presents." Sam grinned then the grin slacked again. "I found out what Dad really did that night. I should have never asked Dean to tell me on Christmas Eve, it ruined every Christmas after that."

"Christmas must not be in our DNA." Xander spoke without thinking. Sam looked over at him confused. Xander considered lying but if Sam was being honest he would as well.

"My family, they liked to drink and they liked to fight. I spent most Christmas' camping in our backyard to avoid the arguments." his heart sunk and he realized that he would never again hear his parents argue or talk ever again. They were both dead. He tried to shove the memories back.

"Hey are you okay?" Sam asked concerned. Xander tried to smile but he didn't

seem to be able to pull it off very well.

"I'm fine." Sam looked at him like he didn't believe him. He didn't want to bring his dead mother into this, not when they barely knew anything about each other. Sam seemed to let it go and went back to researching. Xander set his eyes back on the book he had been reading but wasn't reading it. He thought about his family. His mother, she was dead. She was really and truly dead, the depression he had been holding back while searching for Sam washed over him again relentlessly.

"I'm going to get a drink I'll be back." he told Sam. Whether Sam answered him back or not he had no idea. He felt more then saw his way to the door, to the elevator and into his room. He didn't turn the light on but just fell into bed as he stared up at the dark ceiling. She was dead, and he had never told her how angry he was at her for everything. That fact was burning a small hole in him. He wished he had told her but at the same time knew he wasn't able to, he didn't want to hurt her even if she hadn't had the same qualms about him. He fell asleep slowly with those depressive thoughts in his

mind.

Please Review :)


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Supernatural.

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long for me update, computer issues and writer's block and a lack of time are my excuses.

A/N 2: Thanks again to my lovely beta D757468

Sam slammed the book shut he was looking at in anger, and then the anger melted into that same broken look.

"I've found lots of information about purgatory, but nothing about how to get someone who is in there out." he seemed broken. Xander figured it was time to tell him about the ace up his sleeve.

"Remember I told you that the books were only one part of the glory of this place. The other is Willow, she is the most powerful witch in the northern hemisphere and her wife Rebecca is pretty powerful as well. I'm sure if they put their minds to it they can come up with something to save him. I asked them when we got here to start looking into a spell to save him. Willow told me they were working on it."

"How close is she to finishing?" Sam earnestly.

"I don't know, but I know she's been working on it." Sam took on a more panicked look.

"You don't understand hell time, one month is 10 years so a single day is 4 months and that's only hell time, purgatory time could be even worse." He had no idea about purgatory time, that did make it a lot more important to find a way out for Dean as quickly as possible.

"I'll let Willow know that."

"Thanks." Xander got up from the table, figuring he should see about that now and tell Willow how important it was.

He found himself in front of Willow's door a few minutes later and knocked. A few moments later Willow opened the door.

"Willow there's something new I just learned about." she looked at him concerned.

"What is it?" she said at the same time moving aside and making a come in gesture. He walked past her into the apartment, but didn't sit down even though she had also gestured for him to take a seat. Instead he started pacing up and down a very small stretch.

"Hell time is longer than regular time, apparently a single day is 4 months there, so every day we're sitting here on our hands he could be there suffering for months."

Willow's eyes widened. "We need to get him out as soon as possible." Xander didn't know Dean at all. The only thing he knew about him were what Garth, and Sam had said about him. But from what they said, if Purgatory was a place that a person suffered in,

Dean didn't deserve to be there, and he was his brother. He pleaded with Willow wit his eyes to help him. Willow smiled.

"I'm nearly done with the spell, since I know that there is a time constraint now, I'll finish it up tonight and we can work on the logistics tomorrow." Xander beamed, Willow beamed back at him.

"Willow you really are the greatest."

"I know but it's always nice to hear it." Willow joked. Xander wrapped his arms around her and she responded in kind.

"You really are the greatest." he said again.

"Xander these are your brothers, that means they're family." she said. If it was possible he felt even more gratitude towards her. A few minutes later Xander broke the hug.

"I should go tell Sam the news." Willow nodded and Xander left the room. Xander made his way back to the library with a small spring in his step that hadn't been there on the way up. He opened the door to the library a few moments later and Sams' eyes shot up from the book he was looking at.

"What did she say?"

"She said she was going to finish up the spell tonight and tomorrow she would tell us what to do." Sam stared at him blankly for a few moments then smiled.

"So tomorrow we'll actually be able to get Dean out?" he said hope shining in his eyes.

"We'll at least know how to get Dean out." he said. Spells were tricky things, sometimes they needed special circumstances in order to work like full moons, or things of that nature. Sam nodded but his smile never dimmed.

"We're coming to get you soon Dean, just hold on for a little bit more." Sam whispered so low that Xander barely heard him, but Xander felt the same.

~.~

Xander managed to talk Sam into getting a full nights rest, something Sam was sorely lacking in for the last little while. He had almost thought that Sam would be too excited like a kid on Christmas Eve, but Sam had kind of worn himself out. Sam had realized that he hadn't really been hunting since he had been spending every waking moment looking for Dean, and as such some of his physical strength had dissolved. So he had spent most of the remainder of the day in the gym, having his butt kicked by 16 year old girls, and lifting weights.

Sam was in his room now, having gotten up before the sun and had woke him up as well. Xander had tried not to be angry, he knew how excited Sam was. It was easier once he got a few cups of coffee into himself.

Sam had spent most of the morning since then talking about Dean, mostly talking about scattered memories, Xander really enjoyed hearing about Dean, hearing about how they had grown up. Sam talked until Xanders' phone rang, when he stopped.

"Is it..." Sam trailed off, Xander looked at the caller ID and nodded. He answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Xander, I'm ready met me in the apothecary." Xander nodded.

"See you soon." he said then hung up. Sam looked at him.

"We've got to met her in the apothecary."

"This school has an apothecary?"

"Yep." Xander said shortly. He made his way out of the door with Sam by his side. He made his way to the elevator and hit the button for the basement.

"The basement is where the gym is." Sam said. He knew that having spent all of yesterday there. Xander nodded.

"The basement is where the gym is, but remember how the supernatural library is hidden? Schools shouldn't really have apothecaries, especially when they also double as spell rooms, the apothecary is hidden as well."Sam nodded.

The elevator doors opened moments later. The entire floor was covered in a dark hardwood floor. About half of the hardwood floors were also covered in blue mats.

There was a line of young slayers copying the motions of the leader of the group. There was a long mirror along the entire side that the girl's were facing. The walls that weren't covered by the mirror were padded very thickly, because often a girl who doesn't know her own strength or who got mad enough tended to hurl other girls into the wall.

He walked past them and to the weight room. It was a small room and the walls weren't padded here, since there was no fighting allowed in the weight room. Xander walked past the rack of weights and to the wall. He studied for a long moment, it had been a long time since he had been into the apothecary and he couldn't quite remember how to get in. Then he remembered there was a small line of gray bricks that went throughout the room, they separated the dark hardwood wall on the top from the gray walls on the bottom. He had to press them in the right order. Xander rolled his eyes, why did Willow have to make it so cloak and dagger? No one was going to suspect that there was a room in here. Sam had spent a good part of his day here yesterday and he didn't seem to ever suspect. Xander thought hard and then remembered the sequence as he entered it, the wall swung inwards.

He stepped in, the apothecary always seemed really creepy. He wished it looked more like the Magic Box, rather than an old witch's cave, but for some reason Willow liked that look. He walked in and hit the release button which put the wall back in place. The lighting in this part was dim because some of the plants and herbs did better in darkness. There was a row of shelves on either side of him, all of them covered in various herbs, as Xander inhaled he was reminded of another reason he didn't like the apothecary, the smell. He walked on regardless, past other shelves which went from ingredient to spell books, this was witch heaven.

Then there were the objects, such as altars, statues, athames and other pointy objects, circles on the floor, this part of the apothecary really gave him the heebie jeebies. It always made him think about how he was a hunter and how hunters stopped dark witches. Willow wasn't dark and even when she had been Xander hadn't been a hunter then so if Willow went dark again would he be able to stop her? It wasn't something he liked thinking about, so he shoved it firmly into the back of his mind. He was glad when they came to the door.

Xander opened it and took in the more normal aspect of the apothecary, Willows' study. Unlike the rest of the apothecary it looked normal, like any other office. It had a large desk, albeit covered in spell books and yellowed pages, but it also had her laptop giving the room a modern tone which the rest of the apothecary lacked. She looked up as they entered the room and gestured to the couch across from the desk. Xander sat down but Sam stayed standing, Willow stood up from her desk and walked over the other side of it and leaned against it.

"Do you have it?" Sam asked his eyes shining with hope. Xander gave him points for not saying it as soon as they walked in the door. Willow nodded and reached across the desk for a paper with writing on it and a bag full of herbs. She looked at them, and Xander could see Sam's impatience in his eyes.

"Alright this is a spell to retrieve someone from another plane of existence, tweaked slightly to include purgatory. It's a blood spell and as such requires two donors. One to find him where he is and the other to bring him back, it doesn't work without two blood related donors. So I'm sorry but I can't help your angel unless you can get me two of his blood related relatives." she said apologetically Xander saw as Sam deflated a little giving him the indication that he probably couldn't.

"But it will work for Dean." Sam said quietly. Willow nodded.

"It should, it's not 100%, so it might not work but it should."

"What do we have to do?" Xander asked.

"Well the spell itself is fairly simple," she seemed to rethink that "well except for the fact that's in Latin. Which one of your Latin is better?" She asked Sam and Xander. The only Latin Xander knew was the Latin he needed to exorcise someone. Sam looked at him and probably saw his uncertainty.

"Probably me then." Sam said. Willow handed him the sheet and the bag.

"The sheet has the spell on it and an instruction sheet in English. You're going to need a lot of blood from both of you, enough blood that if you tried it yourself it would probably kill you, so I suggest getting some orange juice for afterward, and well you know what do you when you lose a lot of blood." Xander nodded, he did. He noticed that Sam was starting to get antsy and had started pacing.

"Another thing is that you have to do the spell where the person vanished." Sam stopped.

"What?" he asked.

"That's where the original rift occurred and it would take something powerful and dark to open another one, and would require items that would take time to get. Reopening a rift is much simpler."Sam seemed to take that in for a minute then nodded.

"Let's go." he said and didn't wait before leaving. Xander looked back to Willow.

"Thanks so much for all this Willow, we never could have done it without you." Willow smiled then looked sad.

"I wish I could go with you, but I can't, please, if anything goes wrong call me." Xander smiled.

"Of course I will call you, Willow and thanks again." he looked at the door.

"I should go before Sam has a heart attack." he said and Willow nodded, he left

the room at a bit of a jog in order to catch up with Sam.

A/N 3: Thank you for reading and a special thanks to those who review :)


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A/N: Apologies again for taking so long to update. Here is the next chapter and thanks to my wonderful beta D767468 who makes my chapters so much better. :)

They spent a few tense days driving, each of them switching off to let the other one sleep so they could get there as soon as possible. They had arrived there some time ago. There being a place that was hardly recognizable as a place that used to be an office building. Which he only knew because Sam told him it used to be one. Now it was mostly just burnt and in shambles.

Sam got out of the driver's seat in a hurry. He was so anxious that Xander had to tell him about a hundred times on the drive there to slow the car down so that they didn't end up getting killed before they saved Dean. Xander grabbed the blue cooler and opened his door as well. He grimaced as he got up, he was tired, so bone tired all he wanted to do was take a nap, not to mention a bit dizzy. He shut his door and had to jog a bit to catch up with Sam, which of course left him feeling even more tired. Xander watched Sam examine the ruins and he noted how pale his skin was, how even though he seemed to want to move faster he was moving slower. Xander followed Sam's slow pace and started

looking around at the rubble.

"This is where Dean was last." Xander raised his eyes and Sam continued."I had to blow it up." Sam said nonchalantly like it was every day you had to blow up a building, Xander looked around the place, impressed by all the damage that had been done.

"You did a nice job of it." he saw a brief fleeting smile on Sam's face before he blanked it and started heading off in a direction.

"How can you tell where the spot used to be?" he asked.

"I've replayed that day over and over in my head and I know where we need to be." Xander just followed him after that. Through the rubble which sometimes shifted if you stepped in the wrong place. Not to mention you had to watch the floor carefully for sharp things that jutted out, but eventually Sam

stopped as he looked around for a long moment, then nodded.

"We're a couple floors too low but this is the best we're going to get." He took a bag from his jacket and started taking items out of the bag. Xander assumed that Sam knew what to do with them since he had been studying the instruction sheet and vials, ever since they had got in the car a few days ago. Sam closed his eyes for a moment and took in a few breaths, he opened them,

held up a red vial and smashed it on the ground,

"Ab illo loco."

Then he smashed a green one,

"Ad locum nunc est."

Then he smashed a blue,

"Reddere debitam sibi locum."

Lastly he smash a black vial.

Xander opened the cooler he was holding which was full of blood bags. The only other way to get the amount of blood needed would have been to slice open a vein and that would have required a hospital trip which the Winchesters couldn't afford. The blood was still warm since they had drawn it in the car right before they had left the car, which was why it was harder than usual for Xander to keep up

with Sam on the way into the buildings remains. Sam took his blood and Xander

held his. Sam nodded and they poured it out on the ground in front of them as

Sam said, "Sanguis sanguini revertimini ad me."

A blinding white light filled the space, Xander closed his eyes but he still seemed to see it even with his eyes closed. Then it was gone and Xander opened his eyes and saw a new man standing with them. He was about his height, maybe a little taller. He was very roughed up as he could see several cuts and bruises on his frame. He knew it was Dean the second Sam went forwards and hugged him tightly for awhile. He could tell the hug was hurting Dean but he didn't say anything as Dean's face was also relieved and happy. Those brothers really did love each other. Eventually they separated and as Dean's eyes met his, they suddenly shone with suspicion.

"Sam, who's this?" Sam turned around as he seemed to remember Xander was there.

"Dean this is Xander, he's our big brother and he helped me save you." Xander saw Dean looking him over.

"You sure he's our brother?" Xander held back a frown. It had taken awhile for Sam to trust him, even the small amount he did and he had assumed he and Dean probably wouldn't be hugging for awhile, if ever. Sam nodded.

"DNA test, along with all the other monster tests."

"When?" Xander didn't know what he was asking but Sam seemed to.

"Before Dad met Mom, he's two years older then you." Dean nodded stiffly and resumed looked him over, what he was looking for he didn't know. Xander just stood still and let him look him over.

"And you're not surprised about this? I mean it's not every day you take someone out of Purgatory."

"He's a hunter." Sam answered for him. Dean seemed to take that as invitation to look at him even harder.

"A hunter, was he that before or after you found him?"

"He found me and he was one before that." Dean's scope widened to the surrounding area and he looked back and forth suddenly, then to Sam.

"Sam, where's Cas?" he asked and Sam's smile fell a little and Xander noticed his skin was even paler then it had been before. He frowned, maybe they should get to the car and get the juice boxes they had brought as Sam wasn't looking so good.

"I couldn't get him out with the spell I used."

"So Cas is just stuck there alone?" Dean demanded. Xander watched as Sam opened his mouth to try to reply to Dean's accusation then promptly fell backwards. Xander rushed forward to catch Sam but Dean got there first.

"What's wrong with him?" he demanded. Xander started to not feel so hot himself. He needed to rest and drink some juice but Dean had asked him a question and he did his best to not show his exhaustion.

"The spell we did, it required a lot of blood." Dean looked at him sharply.

"How much?"

"About half of what it would take to kill him."

"He needs to rest and to get some fluids into him." Dean said worriedly and Xander nodded.

"We have juice in the car."

"You have a car?" Xander nodded, as Dean nodded seemly to himself as he tried to pick Sam up but failed, and he tried again and failed.

"Are you...will you help me." Dean asked hesitantly, Xander knew that he wouldn't have asked if he was able to do it by himself. Xander was tired as well and was a little concerned that if he tried to help carry Sam's weight he'd faint as well. However Xander wasn't willing to just leave Sam there, so he would get Sam to the car then faint if he had to. Dean grabbed his upper half leaving Xander with his lower half. Xander lifted Sam up and felt a wave of dizziness hit him.

"You good?" he heard Dean asking faintly which he might have taken for concern if Dean hadn't added, "I mean you're not going to drop him are you?" Xander shook his head trying to clear it which helped a bit.

"No, not going to drop him." he said back to Dean. He helped Dean carry Sam over all the rubble.

"Where is this?" Dean asked.

"Where you disappeared from." Xander said focusing really hard on Sam and not on the little stars at the edges of his vision. "Sam said he had to blow it up."

"Hm...not a bad job." Dean said as they continued on their trek towards the car. Xander was leading since he was the one who knew where the car was. When he finally caught sight of the car he let out a sigh of relief, since the stars were getting more and more numerous and the edges of his vision were starting to gray out. He was able to hold on long enough to get Sam into the backseat of the car. The second Sam's feet were in the car though he wasn't able to stand anymore and fell down. His head made a sickening sound as it hit the car on the way down but he wasn't conscious to hear it.

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	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Thank you to my lovely beta D767468 without which my chapters would not be nearly as good.

Dean stood there, he had started his day out in purgatory, fighting, bashing anything that came after him or Cas. One second he was surrounded by trees talking to Cas and the next he was in this field of rubble. Meeting his new brother (he couldn't remember his name even though Sam had told him), he didn't like that, another reminder that his Dad wasn't always with his mom. At least his new brother came from a time before his Mom instead of after. Plus there was the fact that he and his brother tended to get people killed just by knowing them.

Dean stared down at the man laying by the car, his head bleeding quite a bit like head wounds tended to do. He considered for a moment just leaving him there, but with a bleeding head wound like that, leaving him to lay there unconscious and unprotected was beyond cruel. Besides the man had helped him carry Sam to the car, even though he was obviously not up to the task. The man seemed to care about his brother a lot, and while that made him feel a little jealous it also made him glad. There was someone else in the world who cared about Sam and knew him. Especially knowing that when Dean was in purgatory he had no one, he was glad that the man had found Sam.

So in light of that he put his arms around the other man and pulled him into the passenger's seat. Dean winced as it pulled on the lacerated skin on his arms. He checked the man's pulse and found it a little quick but nothing life threatening. He looked for a first aid kit in the car, not finding one he found the keys in Sam's pocket.

Dean went around to the trunk, put the keys into the slot and popped it open. He saw 2 full duffel bags and a few empty ones, there was nothing unusual looking. Whether this was Sam's car or the man's car's, it was a hunter's car and Dean knew what that meant. Dean felt around for a latch, or seam, or something that would show the presence of something else underneath it. His fingers found a latch and found the release and the cover popped up. Yep definitely a hunter's car, he knew that by the guns and stakes and various weapons and a large first aid kit.

Dean took the first aid kit from the back of the car and made his way to the passengers side, where the other mans' head had bled quite a bit in his absence. He put on a pair of latex gloves, and mopped up the blood with some gauze. Once the blood was gone, he got a good look at the wound and took a deep breath. It was going to have to be stitched, and he was either going to have to do it himself or take him to a hospital. His first inclination was the hospital, but if he was a hunter, he'd probably also have a checkered record so driving him to a hospital could possibly put the man in jail.

Dean opened the man eyes and looked at the uneven pupil dilation, he definitely had a concussion that would need monitoring. Apparently big brothers were the same as little brothers, always getting hurt. Dean frowned at that thought, just because they were brothers didn't make them family, not yet, maybe not ever.

Dean pulled a roll of gauze out and wrapped it several times around the man's head tightly, hoping to slow the blood flow until he could get somewhere to stitch him up. He checked his pulse again which was which about the same as it had been when he had last checked it. To do so he was going to have to get them somewhere more private, somewhere they could rest too, somewhere not very far.

Dean picked up the keys which he had put down on the dashboard and shut the passenger's side door. He opened the back door and looked over at Sam who looked about the same. He leaned over and checked Sam's pulse, it was normal. He looked him over, Sam was still a little pale but that probably was just from the blood loss, his stupid stubborn brother risking his health for him. Dean felt around Sam's head looking for any injuries, finding nothing he opened Sam's eyes and saw that his pupils were even.

He shook his head, he had to the get the man to a hotel and fix him up. After that he could spend all the time he wanted looking after his brother. He closed the back door and made his way around the car and into the driver's seat, After trying a few keys he got one of the keys to turn over, the car started up smoothly. Dean missed the Impala, it always made him feel a little dirty driving all those other cars when all he wanted to do was drive his baby.

He pulled out and onto the nearest road he could find, and chose a direction at random and went that way. Dean kept doing this until he finally found an Inn. He glanced at the man and into the back seat where his brother was laid out. He had to get a room, but he didn't want to leave the car, not with his brother unconscious and no one to protect him but another unconscious man.

Dean turned around in his seat again and looked over at Sam and saw he was breathing okay. Though his skin was still pale, when he had opened Sam's eyes his pupils had been evenly dilated. Even if he did leave the two of them in the car there was still the issue of how he was going to get them into the room. Who would he take in first? The other man was more injured but Sam was his brother and Dean wanted to make sure Sam was okay first. However Sam was just unconscious, it was the other man who was in more danger with a concussion.

Still he wanted to get Sam inside first, even though he knew the other man was in more danger but he knew what was the right things to do. Then there was the logistics problems. He had needed the man to help him carry Sam to the car because of his injuries. He didn't think he could carry Sam in alone or the other man. He wasn't sure that if he could wake the man up or if he should.

He had to get a hotel room too but he didn't want to the leave two unconscious men alone in the car. He wished a least one of them was awake to watch over the other. As if an answer to his thoughts, he heard someone stirring in the back. He looked behind him to the backseat and saw Sam looking at him with barely opened eyes.

"Dean." he said half-asleep. Dean smiled, in that moment it didn't matter that Sam had taken him out of purgatory sans Cas he was just glad to be with Sam. Of course that didn't mean that when Sam was better he wasn't going to rip into him for leaving Cas there.

"Hey there." he said. Sam looked confused.

"Dean? What are you..?" he sat straight up suddenly and hit his head on the low ceiling in the back of the car. Dean looked at him concerned, the last thing he needed was two brothers with head injuries. He shook his head reminding himself that the man wasn't family. Speaking of that, not knowing the other man's name was kind of annoying him.

"What's his name?" Sam looked confused then seemed to understand. "Xander?" Dean looked over at the man unconscious next to him. Xander...huh.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a nod in Sam's direction. Sam rubbed his head a bit.

"My head's a little sore, but it's nothing serious." he glanced around the car.

""Where's Xander?" Dean having found the juice while looking for the first aid kit and having put it between the drivers and the passenger's seat, tossed Sam a small bottle of juice.

"Drink that." he ordered. Sam smiled as he caught the bottle, opened it and started drinking from it.

"Okay now will you tell me where Xander is?" Dean tilted his head toward the passengers seat and Sam frowned.

"He fainted like you, only he hit his head on the way down. It looks like he has a concussion. We'll have to watch him and wake him up every few hours." Sam looked worried as he opened his door and walked around the car to Xander's door and looked at him.

"Ouch." he said looking the gauze which was steadily getting redder.

"I have to get a room, watch him, will you?" Dean asked as Sam nodded not looking away from Xander.

"Make sure to get one in the back." Dean rolled his eyes.

"I was in purgatory, I didn't have a lobotomy." Sam smiled briefly before his face took on his worried expression again. Dean wasn't jealous, he wasn't jealous he told himself as he made his way out of the car and into the inn.

15 minutes later he came out with 2 key cards in a little white envelope in his hand. When he caught sight of Sam's worried face watching over the man...Xander, from the driver's seat he told himself again that he wasn't jealous.

"Move." he said to Sam who had moved into the driver's seat in his absence. Sam nodded and moved to the backseat. Dean got in and drove them around to the back of the inn and parked. The moment the car stopped, Sam was out and around the car again, he wasn't jealous he reminded himself.

"I'm sure he's fine, it just looks like a concussion, something we've had millions of times." Dean found himself reassuring Sam as he got out of the car as well. He made his way to their motel door, opened it, then made his way over to the passenger door which Sam had already gotten open. Sam nodded and bent over and started to reach for Xander.

"You okay to do this?" Sam nodded. "You just fainted." Dean pointed out.

"I'm fine." he said and grabbed Xander shoulders while Dean grabbed Xander's feet, together they lifted Xander. Dean got a little worried as they moved Xander, because Sam was looking at him and Dean could see his skin as it started paling again. Dean was glad when they put Xander down on the bed closest to the door. Especially because Sam's skin regained a little of its color. Sam went towards the door, obviously intent on getting something from the car.

"Sit." Dean ordered. Sam looked like he wanted to argue. "Sit!" Dean commanded sharply, and Sam sat down in the one of the chairs next to the bed. Dean went to the open car door and he grabbed the first aid kit and juice and shut the doors. He went back into the room and closed the door after him. Sam looked like he was going to get up.

"Stay down in that seat or I'm going to glue your ass to it, got it?" Dean said and threw Sam another bottle of juice which he caught.

"Since I am not the one who apparently lost half of their blood volume doing a spell, I will be the one to fix him up." he said while putting the first aid kit on the table. He took out another pair of gloves and put them on. He unwrapped Xander's head and mopped up the blood again. He smiled as he found a numbing agent, this guy was more well stocked then a lot of hunters who got through stitches with alcohol. Dean filled a syringe with the numbing agent and injected it around the gash in Xander's head. Then he opened a new needle package and threaded the surgical thread. Dean stitched up the wound and then put a gauze pad on the wound and taped the edges down with medical tape.

Dean cleaned up then and sat down across from Sam who was still looking at Xander. He wasn't jealous.

"How long...how long have you two known each other?" Dean asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"About 3 weeks." Sam answered not looking away from Xander.

"And you trust him?" Dean asked, this time Sam looked at him.

"I know I don't exactly have a good track record when it comes to people I associate with when you're away, but Xander, he's different." Sam laughed and then closed his eyes. "I was a mess, trying to find you any way I could, except demons or freaking powers." he laughed self-deprecatingly. "At least I learned my lesson in that department. I was an ass to Xander, a really big ass to Xander especially at first." another self-deprecatingly laugh "The first time we met I held a gun on him. Or at least I think I did, it's all a little fuzzy because I was drunk off my ass at the time." Dean eyes opened a little wider, a drunk Sam had held his gun on this guy and he hadn't run the other way

"He gave me a way to get you out, without him you'd still be there." Like Cas was, only he didn't feel like this was the time to beat Sam up about it, maybe after a got back a little more color in his cheeks.

"And you trust him?" Dean asked again, because he didn't, he didn't trust easily. Especially when it came to people who were interested in his brother, since so many of them had only been interested in him to try to manipulate him in some way. Sam's face turned pensive.

"I'm not sure, but I think so. He had so many opportunities to kill me, if he wanted me dead." Dean decided not to mention that most people who manipulated Sam hadn't wanted him dead either. "He honestly seemed concerned about my well-being." People lie.

"And you're sure about the DNA test?" Sam nodded. "And you're sure that he's not a monster?" Sam nodded again.

"Does it raise any red flags with you that he's a hunter and he supposedly became one before we even met. Doesn't that seem a little too neat for you?" Sam shrugged and said.

"He lived on the hellmouth." Dean frowned.

"The place where the rules are different?"

"Yeah apparently he grew up around demons and monsters but had no idea until he was 15." Lucky bastard.

"And you have proof of this?" Dean asked and Sam looked over at him looking offended. Maybe he should back off on this unless he wanted a fight. Dean held his hands up defensively.

"Look I'm a suspicious person by nature and life has done nothing but prove to me, you have to be suspicious of everyone until they prove they're trustworthy and even then you can still get hurt." Dean cursed inwardly as he saw Sam's face. He hadn't meant to bring that up.

"I'm just trying to be careful is all." Sam looked at him and after a long moment smiled.

"Always trying to protect me aren't you?" Sam said so softly that Dean barely heard him.

"I've missed you Dean, overprotective tendencies and all." Dean smiled at that as well. Sam got up from his chair and Dean watched him looking for any unsteadiness, but found none. Dean got up from his chair as well, knowing that it was time, the only time they allowed this. Sam came at him and wrapped his arms around him and Dean hugged him back.

Review Please :)


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A/N: Sorry that it took so long me to update I've been kind of having a bit of writer's block.

A/N2:Big thanks to my beta d767468 if it weren't for my beta it wouldn't be nearly as good.

A/N3: For some reason this got formatted oddly so I fixed it... i think, tell me if it looks/sounds off.

Xander eyes opened a crack as he had a killer headache.

"Who's is the president of the United States?" it took him a moment to recognize Sam's voice.

"What?" then the memory of the last night came rushing back. He had fainted after he and Dean had gotten Sam into the car and had knocked his head on the door on his way down. Giving him a bad headache and some blurry hours afterward that he couldn't really remember; he did remember the last two of these wake up calls though.

"Obama." he said then turned over hoping to find sleep again, only to find it beyond his groaned in frustration and instead just tried to hide his head under his blanket hoping that it would stop the pounding in his head.

"Xander are you okay?" Xander just sneaked his hand out of the blanket and snagged a pillow and bent that over his head, then heard a more muffled

"Xander?" Xander groaned again but this time decided to peak out from underneath the blanket. Sam was sitting next to him on the bed looking at him concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"Head hurts." Xander mumbled. He found a glass being shoved at him and he blinked, his brain taking longer than usual to figure out what Sam wanted from him. He groaned and pushed the glass away and his stomach started churning. No use in taking pain pills that were going to be thrown up

"Xander?" Sam asked concerned.

"Nauseous." he said shortly, in fact that was when he stomach very violently churned and Xander tried to sit up but being vertical only made him that much more nauseous. He knew he wasn't going to be able to make it the bathroom, so it was a good thing when Sam put a trash can in front of him. After he was finished he realized that his headache was worse, he tried to sit up again only for Sam to stop him.

"The last time you tried to sit up you threw up."

"Bad taste." he managed to get out, he closed his eyes as the throbbing of his head took over.

"Here let me help you." Sam said after a few moments, he gently lifted him slowly into a sitting position then Sam pushed something at him. He opened his eyes wide enough to see it was water. He took the glass from him and tilted some of the liquid into his mouth, swished it around in his mouth, and very carefully spit it back into the cup making sure to get none of it anywhere else. His mouth tasted much better now. Sam helped him to lay back slowly. He squeezed his eyes shut hoping that would make some of the pain go away. He wondered if he could keep down the pain pills now.

"As soon as you stop being nauseous. you've got to eat and drink something. You're still a little light on fluids." Xander did not like even hearing about food at the moment since his stomach was still churning.

"Dean's getting some food and he should be back soon." Xander hadn't even realized that Dean wasn't there, but he was in terrible amount of pain so that was probably why. He really wished that Willow was there to comfort him. Other people might wish for a parent when they were in pain, but his parents were dead and even when they hadn't been dead they were never really good in a was the one he wanted, Willow had always been there for him whenever he needed her. He wished that he and his brothers were closer so he could seek comfort in them but even in his pain filled state of mind he knew that they weren't really quite to that point yet. Sam was already taking care of him as well as could be expected for the amount of time they knew each other.

"Do you have an arrest warrant out for you?" Sam asked, Xander fought his throbbing head to understand the question, although in his state he couldn't think of why it was relevant.

"No." he said.

"Good, because if you get much worse we're going to have to take you to the hospital." Xander couldn't stop himself from shivering. He hated hospitals. It's where he always went when his Dad hurt him too much for it to be easily swept under the rug. Where his parents had always lied to the doctors who looked like they knew what was going on but never did anything about it.

"Are you cold?" Sam asked concerned. Xander started shaking his head only for the nausea to increase and he immediately stopped.

"No." he said instead, although now that he thought about it he was a little cold, not too much but a little. That probably had something do with the blood loss, since he had lost quite a bit of didn't want to go the hospital though unless absolutely necessary, there was nothing but bad memories associated with the antiseptic smell and white walls. Besides other than the overwhelming headache and nausea and slight cold he felt fine.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Xander stopped himself from moving his head again and just said

"No."

The door opened just then, his headache made the quiet sound seem like elephants parading into the room, the door closing was just as bad.

"Hey, how's he doing?" he heard Dean ask, his voice sounding like he was talking through a megaphone.

"He's awake." Sam said "and his head hurts and he's nauseous."

"Ouch." Dean said but he said it much softer that time. "Sorry dude." he said softly. He wasn't really able to focus much on what was being said but he did catch the sorry dude, he supposed that was something at least. Not exactly the top thing he wanted Dean to say to him at the moment, not that he knew what the top thing he did want Dean to say was. At least it showed that he was at least trying to appear to sympathetic. Dean sighed in an aggravated way.

"Sam what are you doing out of bed?"

"Dean...I'm fine. I slept, I drank apple juice, orange juice, lots, and any other fluids you've pushed at me...I'm fine." he said in an annoyed tone but Xander could hear the under current of appreciation for his health along with affection. Xander would have smiled if it weren't for the pain. So far he'd only met one side of Sam. Now he was seeing the other. The moody, obsessive, depressed Sam who couldn't see beyond getting his brother out of Purgatory. This Sam seemed like a completely different person with his brother around.

"Have you given him the pills yet?" Dean asked.

"No...he's too nauseous" he paused "I think...I was going to give him an anti-nausea pill, so he can keep down the pain pills." Sam said. "He's not going to get better if he can't drink and he can't drink if he can't keep anything down, and if we can't get him to drink we're going to have to take him to the hospital soon. There was a long silence in which Xander had no idea what was happening.

"I'm fine." Sam said, Xander seemed to be missing something, he might be able to tell what was going on if he was able to open his eyes. Then he heard footsteps coming towards him and the person wearing steel-toe shoes or something?

"Xander can you hear me?" Sam asked concerned.

"Yeah." Xander managed to get out.

"Okay I'm going to help you sit up and then I'm going need you to swallow a pill for me. It will make it so that you can keep food and pills down, and then we'll able to give you those pain pills. Won't that be nice?" Sam sounded a bit patronizing and that probably would have bothered him, except that Sam was offering relief from the roiling of his stomach and the pounding of his head. Xander was okay being a little patronized if that meant that the pain would stop.

He felt himself being moved upwards slowly and felt his stomach churn a bit again but not as violently as it did last time. He managed to keep from throwing up again. Xander felt pills being put into his hand and managed to open his eyes to see Sam looking at him with a concerned look on his face, holding a glass in his hand. Xander felt himself being supported by the headboard of the bed, it was not terribly comfortable. Xander stared down at the small pills in his hand then put them in his mouth, he weakly took the glass from Sam and chased the pills down, then gave the glass back to Sam.

Xander closed his eyes again to beat back the nausea, he couldn't throw these pills up; if he threw the pills up then there would be no relief. He felt himself being slowly lowered back down into the soft bed. There wasn't any talking, Xander found himself grateful as it didn't ratchet up his headache. He found himself just concentrating on his breathing, just breathing slowly in and out, in and out. Consoling himself that as soon as the anti-nausea pills kicked in, he would be able to take the headache ones. He kept on telling himself that and he noticed when the nausea stopped, although he didn't really notice when the drowsiness started kicking in even as he fell asleep.

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